it never stops
i'm going mad you see
the pain has me in entrapment
i feel i'll never be freed
the pills mask the hurt
from the inside out it seems
i've built a tolerance so i always need more
who knew an addict would become of me
each refill is a look
a lecture from the pharmacy
humiliated as i hide the bottles in my purse
no, this is not stephanie
it began as a necessity
a true deserving need
but out of fear of future operations
i'll do almost anything
it's a secret
or is it something you can see?
my eyes are tired of throbbing pain
because of a disease of rarity
no one understands
so i stage act who i used to be
give her an Oscar tell her what she's won
behind this brain's brutality
to run from fear
is to fear reality
stuck between a nightmare
and a dream
my god,
what's happened to me?
i coach others
and tell them not to do the same
although i row oars in the same boat
and it makes me so ashamed
(C) Maxwell 2017