Why is it so hard to write poetry when I'm happy?
When I'm content?
When I'm gloriously in love?

Is it a requirement that I be in rage, in sorrow, in pain?
Drunk? High? Comatose?

Can I just not find the right words to describe my feelings?
Or maybe I don't need this outlet when I'm happy. I don't need to cut my emotions from my chest and attach them to words. I want my emotions here with me.

I'm gona do it I swear.
I'm gona do it, don't come near
I'm. Sick of feeling like im the center of your hate
I'm gona end the dispair
Don't blame yourself, you only twisted the keys into the locks I forged,
Don't hate yourself,
Or you'll find you'll join Me,  you'll pick up the cross I bore,

If I find myself breathing in the morning,
Then the drugs failed. Even though I ignored the labels warning,

It's ok though  because  I'll still  have no one here
I'll still feel all the fear
Don't worry. I'll do it
I swear

I'd put a bullet in my head if I didn't have
A trigger  for a spine

I wish I'd stop freaking out.