I plan out my words to him like a poem
hoping he'll notice they were plucked just for him
like my eyebrows
and ***** hair
please adore my presentation
and I'll lay silent and bare

the June air feels so good against my skin
I'm smoking and I shouldn't
that feels good too
I'm thinking about him and I shouldn't
that feels melancholy
like a Sunday night
pathetic
like a long drag on my cigarette
hidden in the shadowed light
I want but it's wrong
like picking the scab on my leg
it feels visceral and rewarding
until it hurts
dried blood on my sheets
I know he's sleeping in his
soundly
no thoughts
but I'm there
like a shadow
following his movement
go home and sleep, silly girl
yes, but kissing him feels like catching up

in my dream
you told me you love me
But the words came out
of another mouth
I haven’t seen your face
in two years
but in my mind’s eye it shone out
like a sand dollar brushed with sun
your eyes were always slips of blue water
not shallow
but a misperceived depth
I fell in long ago
Sipped as I swam
thought I found my way
but I’m back
at the edge
not willingly
but I’ll dip my toe in

Your eyes delight me
entice me
I want to dip and bloom
in soft blue lagoons
but as I lay next to you
my body is stone
every movement I've seen
play out in my dreams
a simple word from my lips
head moving closer to rest
in the boat of your chest
but I'm frozen
this duvet an ocean
alone each night
I bathe with delicate hands
and tonight in the moonlight
you're here with me
for a midnight swim
I want you to read my face
and see that I'm drowning
please kiss me
and be patient

I’m hit with sounds and smells of you
Sitting behind a smoker on the transit
And I’m strangely nostalgic
I’ve grown to love it
Because on you it’s mixed with pine
Like you dozed off next to a fire pit

I realize you’re all around me
Because in these parts
short flannel clad men
with tall egos
are a dime a dozen

Though I know when I move away
I’ll look back with yearning
On those nights in your car
(they meant more to me than you know)
listening to Tame Impala and waiting for the bridge
bass cranked high like the heat
effervescent windows frosted
from our craft brewed breaths
singing and saturated with spirit(s)

Was this home or all I came to know?

I can’t deny that summer will never again
be as heavy with happiness
as when the sky has stopped her crying
long enough to paint in pastels
canopied air crisp enough to bite
I guess that’s what happens
when you spend 2/3 of the year in grey

it’s not for me

I’m a fool
the way
I dreamt of us laying in bed
brushing my fingers down his arm
and him
cupping my chin
kissing me densely
a firm desire
I wouldn’t know it
so how did I dream it ?
I felt the sweet delight
of bodies meeting finally
and his breath so soft on my *******
I want it in my lungs...

When the yearning is heavy on your shoulders
you don’t have to think about where to go
When it happens I think I’ll know

Take my thoughts away...

i was borne of one heart
two sides, but cor unum
i was blessed with a sweet pairing before me
a gentle winds at my birth whispering
go forth and take us with you
my breaths are an ode
and my fears reflect an earthly greatness
a mountain range behind and before me
do not forget the love that made you..
so vast
while i, an open crater
must drink to fill parched canyons
that echo my name


i cannot wait for rain