Kennisha L Crawford

Kennisha L Crawford Nov 2016

I give him everything.
Every part of my being belongs to him.
I adore and completely worship him.
For he is my king and I his queen.
Or at least that's how it's suppose to be.
See he doesn't treat me as he should.
He constantly ignores me, only talking when he needs his needs met.
He never kisses me softly unless we're having ***.
And he never acknowledges my efforts to keep our love alive.
Nor my beauty which I always keep on point to keep him from having a wandering eye.
There was once a time when our love was smoking hot.
We blazed together like a wildfire; living our lives carefree.
We were unstoppable and created majestic memories.
But somewhere along the lines our love lost its magic.
What was once a vibrant love is now stagnant.
He doesn't look at me with the great desire I could always see beaming through his eyes like he use to.
And I can't remember the last time we had a laugh together that had us in tears.
We've been in this for so many years.
Though we've hit a rough patch, I know we can make it through.
Even if I have to love more for the both of us, than that's just what I'll have to do.

#love #life #pain #hope #relationships

Kennisha L Crawford Oct 2016

Love's Blasphemy

Love, the most powerful four letter word in the world. Depending on its user it has the power to uplift and have you on cloud 9 or leave you broken and somber for many days and nights.

I unfortunately have to endure its power's downside because of you. You who said you loved me but yet time revealed that wasn't true. You who said so many sweet things that all ended up being spoiled truths.

I can still taste the nectar that masked your poisonous kisses lingering on my lips. Your *** seducing cologne still imbedded in my senses from our bodies' intimate connections.

You pretended to want a real thing but that wasn't your intentions. You only wanted to have me open like a chest full gold, taking all the treasuries it holds.

You deprived me from experiencing love's great essence and what it really means. Took the keys to my heart and kept yours locked in purgatory.

One day the tables will turn and you'll confess your sins. Feeling all the echoes of the cries you caused and the time you wasted forever lost. Reaping the effects you sowed of your love blasphemy woes.

#love #life #pain #relationships

Kennisha L Crawford Oct 2016

Karma's Her Name

Oh you feel pain? Took me and my love for granted and now see the error in your ways.

    I feel no remorse for you reaping what you sowed. You should have been a real one like you proclaimed instead of a complete joke.

    How badly does it sting to see me officially moved on and living abundantly? Does it crush your heart to pieces knowing had you just been true you would have been right beside me?

    God clearly had a better plan for me. Using the pain and shame you brought on me to propel me towards my destiny.

    The damaged baggage of a broken heart and unfaithful love you left me, fueled my art that  led to my healing.

    So I guess I should thank you for all the tears you made me weep and the endless nights you wrecked my mind where I couldn't find sleep.

    Because of you I became wiser and stronger. No longer boggled down with the sadness and rage. I'm up and onward to greater things.

    And you're finally feeling the rippling effects of your deceitful love games.

#love #life #pain #relationships #karma

Kennisha L Crawford Oct 2016

The Raging Mind

Have you ever become so enraged by your own thoughts?

Your mind replays situations that you feel you lost.

Making you wish you could go back in time and handle things accordingly.

Gain the power that was necessary for you to have the victory.

Is this how we become our own worst enemy?

Fixated on our past hurts and pains.

Wanting vengeance on those who were the cause of it all.

Wishing for their downfall.

It's madness when you live inside your mind.

Forever thinking about how you were wronged in life.

All while time continues to tick.

And your abusers continue to live their lives without feeling convictions for their sins.

When does it end?

How can you forgive when no apology was given?

Why must your mind be consumed with the rage?

Why can't the causers take your place?

Go through a mental genocide as a repercussion for the hell they raised.

But life doesn't work that way.

And God no longer condones "an eye for an eye" like in the Old Testament days.

So I'll just have to get on my knees and pray.

For God to free my mind of the ******* and pain that plagues it everyday.

#love #anger #pain #hope #mind

Kennisha L Crawford Oct 2016

Her Blues

Heartache, misery & despair is all I know. I drown in their dark waters, can never stay afloat.

  Happiness has always been a fleeting feeling for me. Never able to last long enough for me to bask in its beauty.

  My life is like a somber southern hymn that slaves on plantations would sing long ago.

  Mother abandoned me when I was just a few weeks old. Father constantly beat me in a drunken rage till my limbs were sore and inflamed.

  At 16 I got ***** by a boy that I would see in my neighborhood but never knew his name.

  I ran away soon after figuring I could do better on my own.

  The world couldn't hold a worse hell for me than the one I had already known.

  Lost and confused. Scared and alone. These were the only friends I had.

  They're still present in my life today. Daily preying on my flesh till my insides rot away.

  I don't know what it's like to be free and let go of the past.

  The memories torture me and the nightmares keep me in cold sweats.

  I'm suffocating with my own hand around my neck.

  I pray to God but I don't think he hears me cause my spirit is still in ******* in purgatory.

  But for some reason I keep going no matter how many times I've contemplated taking my own life.

  Something inside me just won't let me quit. So I guess I'll continue to fight till I find serenity from my plights.

  Dying to the darkness to live in the light.

#life #pain #sadness #personal

Kennisha L Crawford Oct 2016

Killer Pride

I need help but refuse to ask.

I'm the tough one. God built me to last.

No one can know how I truly feel inside.

My endless nights of crying.

My thoughts of wanting to die.

If you saw me, you would think I'm totally fine.

I'm a professional at clothing myself in garments of beauty, strength and playing the role of someone in complete control.

But at night when I'm alone my weaknesses, pain and flaws take hold.

Eventually I will succumb to my own demons.

By either a knife to my wrist or a gun to my head.

Mentally I'm already dead.

God if you can hear me please come to my aid.

I'm exhausted from pretending.

I need to be saved.

#sad #life #hope #personal

— The End —