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10.4k · May 2014
Dear Technology
Kay-Ann May 2014
dear technology, you are starting to ruin our lives
we're just a little too invested in these laptops and hard drives
something has been lost and we need to get it back
we have lost the ability to truly feel and interact
social media has held us captive and kept us down
immersed in a cyber sea, we are starting to drown
but when I'm far away and i need my loved ones near
just a few clicks will show them I care
but its hard to wrap emails in ribbons and bows
what we would do without Facebook and twitter, no one knows
Dear technology sincerity has become a thing of the past
people start looking for love on computer screens so nothing lasts
nothing is private, all data is open to the universe
chords attach us to the world and that's how we converse
to these gadgets we've fallen prey
we need a social media free vacation to get away
on this journey of life I cant derail from its tracks
so hey technology, I'm gonna unplug and relax
5.0k · Apr 2014
cruel.
Kay-Ann Apr 2014
this is a typical story
you see this amazingly cute guy and you like him
and you fell for him
like the blossom
from the cherry trees
he finally notices you and you're now together
it wasnt a normal boy
this one had the sunset in his eyes and you loved it
but little red flags popped up right away
and you saw it but failed to understand
internalize and do something about it
you didnt want to believe it
but now its all over cause there was someone else
i guess you were the side chick
how unwise of you to think you were the only flower in his garden
but oh baby he was digging up other roots
nobody can escape the prison of unfaithfulness
but infatuation never hurt so much
betrayal and deception is what he gave you
and it's dwelling in your heart
spreading faster than an epidemic
you wished you had saved yourself from the pain
but truth is we cant always be saved
sometimes we need to be in pain to know what makes us happy
so basically this is a ten word story:
you thought you mattered but you dont so move on
4.6k · Dec 2013
Nyctophilia
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
The love of darkness or night
This is precisely what I adore
The dark is where i erase my plight
Where my dreams and aspirations take flight
Where I undress my conscience and make love to my thoughts
I don't quite know how or why
But everything seems right when it's dark
It's a hidden land of castles and fairy tales
Where everybody is loved the way they should
and everything makes sense
And that's all I ever really craved
So even when it's daylight
My mind is as dark as the midnight sky
with infinite thoughts like the stars

Nyctophilia - grammatically a noun but could it be used as an adjective?
Ask me how I'm doing and I might say "I'm feeling very nyctophiliac today"
Nyctophilia- it's ironic how at night when most humans are sound asleep
it's the time when I feel most alive
Nyctophilia- it explains more of me than I'd ever be able to
So with that being said
Let darkness fall.
4.3k · Feb 2014
Ode to The Weeknd
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
Your music is sensual, dark and languid
Mysterious and ****, hypnotic and sultry
The slow tempo and rumbling bass drums are a heavenly mix
I close my eyes and let the forlorn echoes immerse me
In a sea of falsetto vocals and stuttering percussions

Your music is enigmatic, puzzling and seductive
Pacifying and troubling, calming and cinematic
Your champagne crooning is a movie in itself
Telling me the tales of a gloomy ***-infused hangover life
And it connects to the depths of my soul
Even though I've never experienced it

Narcotized slow jams filled with samples of punk and rock
Transports me to an actual dream world
Your subtly crafted harmonies and beats are celestial
And your lyrics a painkiller
That numbs the wounds in my soul and takes me higher...

Your voice is R&B; but your lyrics are ***** rap
You take such vile words and turn them into something beautiful
and I adore that.
2.7k · Jan 2014
Leaving Jamaica
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
I expected this but not so soon
I was just finally enjoying being me
Leaving here is going to be like leaving behind a huge part of me
This is where I was born
Where I grew up , where I first experienced true love
Where I first experienced heartbreak
This is where I became Kay-Ann

But part of me is happy
I'm going to begin a new life
A new life full of possibilities
Surely I'll miss my homeland

I'll miss the food
My dear ackee and saltfish
I'll miss the sights
Devon House and Emancipation Park
I'll miss the people
My friends from school and past loves

But migrating is all about starting anew
Starting that new chapter in the book of me.
Kay-Ann Jun 2014
you said you had needed time and space
as if I hadn't given you enough of that already
I had sensed that my love was suffocating you
so I eased up to let you breathe
I didn't want your respiratory system to collapse
because of my emotions
but how do you explain leaving me because
of the very thing you wanted
you said you didn't want a girlfriend anymore
and that was like a stake to my heart
because I had been much more than that
I had become apart of you
I was the one who opened the gateway to your soul
I was the one who ended your drought
and I let my ship sail into your harbor with no regrets
but I guess some ships were meant to sink
see I gave up and tossed my heart into the sea a long time ago
but this morning a piece of it washed up ashore
that's how I know there is still hope
so maybe we weren't right for each other then
maybe we'll meet when we're better for each other again
1.7k · Jan 2014
For Chelsea
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
She was the epitome of a good girl
Funny, cool and the best friend ever
She was smart too , never falling victim to their lies
Always precluding hurt and pain
but she had always craved something real
that thing called love
she no longer wanted to elude all the pain and pleasures that came along with it
so she waited patiently for her knight to come
to rescue her from the state of 'forever alone'
and he did come, he was literally what every girl wanted
when they were together , gravity no longer existed
his very presence made her high
when they kissed , megawatts of electricity and passion flowed through their veins
But soon he started to withdraw from her
He recoiled as if she was dangerous to his wellbeing
everything went downhill for them
she implored him to talk to her, to work things out
after all when you love someone , you just dont give up on them
but he refused and they grew apart
she borne this for a while but the pain became too much
and it all went up in flames
he said he needed time to himself , to figure things out
all the pressures in his life were too much and he needed time and space
he said maybe they would get back together....
she put on a brave face and said goodbye
it exhausted her inside , she tried so hard not to cry
and so she said sorry to every cracked branch and leaf she passed
because she now knew how it felt to be stepped on even after you were broken
the pain still lingers , minutes to hours , hours to days
It is really true when they say nothing gold can stay.
1.3k · May 2014
colors
Kay-Ann May 2014
Sometimes I feel uncomfortable in my own skin
It's like this chocolate shell is slowly killing me from within
Sometimes I think about taking up that cream and bleaching my skin
But it's only gonna lighten my complexion while the light inside me is still dim
Sometimes I wonder why I get left behind just because I'm not light
I mean we're from the same race, aren't we supposed to unite?
sometimes I think something is wrong with me because I'm not light
I guess the lighter girls at school feel sorry for me which is why they act so contrite
People pick up the book entitled me and they see a dark-skinned girl who is free
And they just put it down because they can't bother to read
But I don't want someone who worries about the knots in my hair and the cornrows
I want someone who's not afraid to run their fingers in the knots of my soul
So why can't you love me for my big lips and round brown eyes
And my wide hips and shapely thighs
Why cant you see that I'm beautiful, I'm confused
Don't you know that I reflect you in all my hues
Brown, caramel, black and all that's in between
We're all just the same if you know what I mean.
1.3k · Jan 2014
deadly
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
what is more deadly
a gun or a thought?


a gun gives you the opportunity
but a thought pulls the trigger.
1.2k · Jan 2014
Fights
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
It seems these days have been the hardest
every conversation turns into an argument
it seems whenever we're our happiest
something comes to erase that contentment

Our fights are like a competition
to see who can get the last scream
you and I are sometimes like a contradiction
because of the way you let me tear at the seams

At times we make more love than sense
And you **** me with all the unsaid sentences
but I don't want this to be like a conquest
I'm not ready to face those consequences

I'll always find one reason to keep holding on
I wanna give up but there's something about you
I don't know if I'm just petrified of being alone
Or its just the way how I just automatically stick to you like glue

but I love you despite all the heartbreak and sorrow
cause if you died today , I would surely die tomorrow.
1.2k · Aug 2019
Woman, Wound
Kay-Ann Aug 2019
I am chasing this thing that
always
eludes me. In the day he openly
embraces Man.
See, they’ve known each other for centuries,
shoulder to shoulder,
unrelenting hand in unrelenting hand
as they dance betwixt the world of fantasy and pain.
A universe I know all too well.
A courtesy we could never have.

Matta still in my eyes, limbs sore from just being born,
naivete radiating from my skin.
I trail, inquire, plead—
he laughs in my face before evaporating
observe.

I have a plan.

I could forfeit my mind, let ambition and sense
seethe through my temples. Knees the color of
my behind from crawling through the mud.
Pungent fertilizer gathering underneath my nails
as I plant hibiscus, mint and poinciana in a Man’s
garden. My body falling apart and together at the
calloused hands of my oppressor.

There must be another way.

I turned to the sky,
they know us Women well.

Every thirty moons, I offer up a sacrifice.
Take this crimson sea between my anchors
that Mother ordained.
Take it and give us strength.

He eludes me still.

I fight and I protest
and I bawl and I break down
and I stand up and I smile
and I make love to anyone capable of loving.
I am still searching.
Tactile, hard and brown like an egg’s shell
you can’t see this soft, permeable mass
yet it lives, survives.
*But the chase is over.
1.2k · May 2014
when I'm...
Kay-Ann May 2014
when I'm sixteeen, I will start to wonder why we ever dated, what I ever saw in you.

When I'm seventeen, the thought of me will be far from your mind but traces of the memory of us will still linger.

when I'm eighteen , we both will be entering new chapters of our lives and will forget all about each other. The world will be our seashore

when I'm nineteen , maybe I'll think of going back to Jamaica and face you

when I'm twenty, I'll come back to Jamaica and our eyes will meet again and our energy will start to overflow and feed each other

when I'm twenty-one , i'll be questioning my sanity as the thought of wanting you and you not wanting me will begin to drive me to the edge

when I'm twenty-two, my career will bloom gracefully and simply writing about you will bring me pleasure and nostalgia

when I'm twenty-three, I'll believe that if we just faked it enough we could trick ourselves into believing that we're still in love and can actually be together.

when I'm twenty-four , reality will hit me in the face and I'll finally realize that we will never be what we used to

when I'm twenty-five, I'll wash the dirt off my knees and open my eyes and leave you behind.
Kay-Ann Dec 2020
I’m living through a pandemic.
The sum of our daily lives has been reduced to monotony
that renders me insane some mornings and free the next.
I awake to news of just-discovered symptoms,
and incoherent ramblings of injecting Lysol from that man
and the susceptible deaths of the poor and the Black –
at least some things never change.
I have come to savor the simple pleasures
of food, fresh air and do-nothings.
Yet, my body finds a craving for chaos,
the feeling of running with your eyes wide shut.
I stay inside, my house and myself,
and feel, feel, feel.
A thing no one has time for in a world for profit.
A thing we have all the time in the world to do these days.
1.0k · May 2014
you, the volcano
Kay-Ann May 2014
I guess I should've known you were a volcano
I didn't know you could be so dangerous to me
Cause I have always loved the way you made my magma turn to lava when you touched my surface
heat and molten rocks of lust swelled in that mountain you called your body
and erupted in pleasure all over my land
but then you desolated me
it all became too much and you ate me
chewed me up, turned me into ashes
and spit me out
the one thing that I breathed everyday became poisonous
your clouds of dark smoke and hurt polluted my air
now your eruption didn't make me moan
instead it demolished me
and transformed me into a dead city of romance
I should've known from the first rumble that you were gonna destroy me
I should've known that you were meant to be a natural disaster.

k.h
919 · May 2014
incoming eclipse
Kay-Ann May 2014
you and I are somewhat like the sun and moon
so different but golden together
and you are The Sun
I wanna wake up to your presence every morning
bask in your glow and feel your light bathe me
and you're kindhearted, you arise everyday to provide the planet with warmth and gleam
And I adore that
This sky-fire of yours burns like my glittering stars
And I admire that
You illuminate the whole world but now I want you to illuminate me
But you always elude my chase
Cause I'm something like The Moon
My silver, meek shine enlightens the universe
and serves as a companion for little sad souls
but when I'm climbing up to Heaven and gazing down at Earth
I realize I illuminate the whole world too
but I can't illuminate my own self
See, the night was made for loving and I can't wait for the moment we touch and the sky shines burnt orange with our love
I hope one day while cruising in the heavens we meet
cause sometimes I like to think of the sun and moon as lovers
who rarely meet, always hunt each other and almost always miss each other
but once in a while they do catch up and they kiss
and the world stares in awe of their eclipse

                                                      k.­h.
901 · Jun 2014
being in love
Kay-Ann Jun 2014
being in love is a such a celestial feeling
you're on an emotional high off their passion
and their kisses are like a neverending acid trip

being in love is such a mysterious feeling
the normal routine of your body changes
you now move to the beat and rhythm of their existence
and their voice is enough to make you shiver uncontrollably

being in love is such a beautiful feeling
you can feel a flower blossoming in your heart
and it's like a light has been shone on your soul
and a whole new person has been born

but being in love is such a scary feeling
you start to forget all about yourself because all you feel is them
they can **** you with all their words
and the home you built in them can be destroyed

love is a kaleidoscope of emotions
don't ever fear it
because it's better to have lost love
than not to love at all

love is the most liberating feeling your body will ever come to experience. it’s beautiful on so many levels
scary, dangerous
but the rush is what we live for
873 · Dec 2013
This Life
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
This life is such a mystery
There's so much in sight that we don't see
Sometimes I wonder what's my purpose on this earth
Life can be such a mirth
As if the joy that welcomes birth

This life is complete actuality
We know who we are but not what be may be
Pressure is passion's poison and we get a dose of it everyday
But life is about living for today
You have to take chances or your life will never change
You can't direct the winds but you sure can adjust the sails

This life can be tricky, try not to be compelled
Opportunity never knocks twice but there is always the doorbell
You can never forget but always forgive
Cause the past has a way of holding you captive
Ability can get you far but it takes character to keep you there
Nature can be so cruel, predators are everywhere

This life has so many dimensions
Or maybe it's just a battle of perception
But what we think is not what we always see
Our expectations are so different from reality
But optimism is like the sun and doubt is the rain
Life is only beautiful for those who know how to celebrate the pain.
Kay-Ann Feb 2015
flow like a river, rumble like the sea
where there is freedom, we will try to be

at the bottom of the Sea, they laid sands of promise and dignity
declaration of independence and the emancipation of slavery
we had high hopes of what we could be
and I believe we fulfilled it...partially
why partially you might say?
we've come from far but the Waters are musky and filled with decay
they tell you that you can have rights as long as you swim their way
the illusion they created is slowly fading away

but how dare you tell us where to swim when we live in a Sea
a Sea that's vast with sharks and oppurtunities
we are ubiquitous, we are Water, we are everywhere in this place
so why are we defined by status and race?
we are ubiquitous, we are Water, we have the ability to be
so why is the very air we breathe killing us slowly?
we are ubiquitous, we are Water, we hold dear life in our existence
but the sharks still come after us with absolute persistence
they make us look shallow but our Waters are deep
Genocides, discrimination and the slave trade, in our soil have seeped

Martin Luther King told us to use peace to heal our scars
so why are we always the driving force in wars?
I recall the Constituition having ideals based on equality
But life seems indefinitely harder for minorities
Oh sure we have a right to protest and assemble peacefully
But didn't I see blacks being tear-gassed while marching for Mike Brown in the streets?
Oh yes we are supposed to be a big, bad, free Sea
while our Waters are restricted, racist and murky

Maya Angelou told us she knows why the caged bird sings
through his efforts, he had hoped freedom will one day ring
they talk about us as pretty lakes and rivers that peacefully flow
but see there's an angry volcano erupting below
And our waters will never be clean until that volcano erupts
Ashes of repentance that will manifest into an island that's not corrupt

flow like a river, rumble like the sea
one day freedom will reign and that's where we'll be.....
hopefully
802 · Jun 2014
paradox
Kay-Ann Jun 2014
you are a ******* paradox
no one is what they seems these days
life is a such misconception and you're apart of it
I built a home in you and I regret the day I ever did that
cause all I ever was to you was a cheap motel room
I believed in you so much
you had me at a point where I would forsake the whole world if you asked me to
and then you left
i shifted all my organs around to make room for your heart so
what do you mean you don't wanna stay?
you destroyed me
and that's why you're a paradox and
love is a paradox
life is a paradox
because the thing that brought me peace started a war inside of me
798 · Feb 2014
Taje
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
he stood 5'10 , same height as me
Light-skinned with freckles
And lips that look traced with black lip liner

from his eyes I got a certain feeling I couldnt explain
they exuded such love and innocence yet a hint of guilt
but it only made me craved him more

and his smile, his smile gave me life
his smile was so painfully alluring and beautiful
it made me crave him even more

his laugh was my happiness
that noise is the most wonderful sound ever

I've fallen so deep for you, you're the only one that can save me
my stomach's full of butterflies
and Im starving, yearning for your attention

will you please be with me ?
Kay-Ann Jul 2014
I knew this was coming for a while, I just never expected it so soon
you know they say a woman's intuition is always right and it just proved to be true
there was always this feeling in the pit of my stomach that kept on telling me
"he'll find someone better than you", "you're just not enough"
but I ignored it, I wanted to believe it was a lie
cause honestly I love you man and I wanted us to work so bad
I saw so much in potential in you, in us and what we could be
but you broke my heart and the house I had in you
cause lately there's an emptiness in my chest and I'm homesick
but tell me how am I supposed to move on?
but how do you walk away from the one thing that held you together?
before you I was those dead brown leaves on the ground
being stepped on after I was already dead
You filled my hollow heart with happiness and laughter
your smile was enough to light cites on fire
and it's already burning me alive too
but part of growing up is learning how to save yourself and walking out that fire alive and conscious
my last words to you were I hope you're happy and you said "no I'm not"
well that makes two of us
749 · May 2014
Perfectly Imperfect
Kay-Ann May 2014
I don't know about you but I'm full of perfect imperfection
And that I'm not afraid to say
All of my being, every single section
Is beautifully built that way

This doesn't bring me down, it only gives me inspiration
To fulfill my destiny and try to be
Like the majestic horizon
Beaming like the sun for all to see

I have failed in the past and experienced defeat
And this I won't deny
But I've prevailed and got back up on my feet
I didn't stay down and cry

Despite of my previous mistakes, I deserve the best
Love, pleasure, care and attention
I will not tolerate any less
Just because of my imperfection
727 · Apr 2015
incoming music
Kay-Ann Apr 2015
you and I are somewhat like a beat and a tune
so different but melodic together
and you are The Beat
I wanna wake up to your sound every day
bask in the vibration of your bass and feel it radiate through me
and you are harmonious, you arise everyday to provide the planet with warmth and unity
And I adore that
This tempo of yours burns like glittering stars
And I admire that
You are just fine by yourself but now I want us to be one
Don't elude me, we are meant to be together
Cause I'm something like The Tune
I am that hum enlightens the earth
and serves as a companion for all souls
but when I climb up to Heaven and I am being crooned by the gods
I realize I unify the whole world too
but I can't do it alone
See, the world wants to hear our cadence and I can't wait for the moment we touch and the sky shines gold with our song
One day while cruising the universe we will meet
cause sometimes I like to think of the beat and tune as lovers
Hypnotic, passionate equally but beautiful together
but there's a time they do catch up and they kiss
and the world stares in awe of their music
643 · Jan 2015
homecoming
Kay-Ann Jan 2015
I went home for Christmas
and it's quite funny to say
life seemed to be the same
but to my mind everything has changed

I saw some things that
I've never noticed before
like how the Blue Mountains actually look kinda blue
and just seem to endlessly soar

I met up with an old flame
Reminiscing about old times made for a glorious night
So we were both not suprised at the fact
That our internal fires for each other were still burning bright

Countless cousins came to see me
I marveled at their growth and towering heights
I wish they had the same oppurtunities as me
To elevate their minds and take their first flight

I didn't see much of my friends from school
I guess they were too busy to reconnect
Only two of them showed up for my birthday
But it was the best one yet

It was now time for me to leave
I wasn't sure if Jamaica was still considered my home
But I do know one thing though
I will come back here and grow old
623 · Jan 2014
The Type
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
I'm the type of girl who will give you my whole heart and expect the same in return
Cause love is about commitment and compromise
You don't just get it, it's something you have to earn
It's like the beginning of a great enterprise

I'm the type of girl who has faith
Cause I know it will take me far
I don't judge by just looking at your face
Because everyone is fighting their own unique war

I'm the type of girl who looks beyond the surface
People like that don't really exist
I hope what we have holds some purpose
Cause I don't want to lose this

I'm the type of girl who sometimes keeps my feelings in
I have dreams, fears and doubts
But love takes off the masks we know we can't live within
and fear we cant live without

I'm the type of girl who will make promises and stick to them
If not me , who ? If not now , when ?
Love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them not to
You are my sun , I want to be brought to life by you.
585 · Feb 2014
A Real Valentine's Day Poem
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
So it's Valentine's Day and we're apart. I know it must be ****** or whatever with me not being there but I think it's worth it and I really hope you think the same..

So let's rewind back to the day I told you I was leaving. I didn't think I would care that much and I didn't think you would care either. I wish you could understand how hard it was for me to leave you. I swear it freaked me out when I was crying that night. I was like man I just met you few months ago so why do I care so much ?! That was also the day I realized I love you. I don't love you for the simple reasons like appearance or whatever. When you're really into someone, their physical imperfections become irrelevant and you see past all that. I love you for the mere fact that you made me believe in love again. You made me wanna love again. I won't get into all of this but just know that you made me forget about the past and made me not caught up on him anymore. That was truly the best gift ever because no one has been able to do that. I had lost my way and myself but when i found you, I found myself too. The last time we saw each other was brief but great. I was in your arms and at that moment I knew it was where I belonged. This long distance thing has not been easy at all. It's frustrating knowing I can't be there when you need me and I can't reach out for you when I need you. And I know my *** isn't easy to deal with. I'm miserable, moody and insecure. I know you can't stand my insecurity but I'm only like that because I'm scared that you'll leave. I hope you won't though.. Sometimes i hate it that you don't talk to me. Like I would stay up all night to make sure you're alright just so you could tell me what goes through your mind but you never do... I want you to tell me how you're feeling cause I always do. Understand that I'm emotionally, visually, physically and mentally attracted to you.One day I will wake up everyday at 3 a.m. and I will roll over into your arms, then you'll rub my back until I fall back to sleep..

This is not anything big but I just wanted to tell you how I feel. I hope you like it. I'm glad that you exist even if you exist so far away from me ...

Happy Valentine's Day.
543 · Dec 2013
you.
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
I will never really understand why I cant leave you alone
what is it about you that is so addictive ?
i know I shouldnt be with you yet I came back
you're no good but I came back
you betrayed me but I still came back
but why? why am I coming back?
maybe its the way our bodies collided like two fine ships
beautiful but ending in doom , sinking like the Titanic
and the mighty waters leaving me vulnerable to whatever
your waves had planned for me
or maybe its way our kisses like diseases
infected the other with a jolt of regret and absolute pleasure
why do we always crave for the ones who are no good for us ?
i guess you're my cigarette
i pull you out of that dark , black box
and light you up when Im cold
keep you on my lips and inhale you
even though I know how toxic you are and can be
but i dont care
cause i love that feeling in my lungs
you're like alcohol too
so tempting and tantalizing on the lips
i get a lovely burning sensation as it sinks in
but i dont care
cause that feeling is heavenly
i shouldnt be here with you
lying on the bed drunk off each other's passion
you destroyed me once and I let you
you're gonna destroy me again and Im gonna let you
538 · Dec 2013
Dear Happiness
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
Dear Happiness,

come back.

i have put up too much resistance and you have left me no choice.
your nemesis Sadness and his brother Sorrow have plagued my life and has eradicated my land of euphoric thoughts. they just invaded my life and have left me barren and empty.. they interrogated and frisked me and robbed me of my joy. everybody has left my life and everything i have ever adored has fled. I'm just an expendable little thing , worth no value. life is no longer my friend. and that's why I'm begging you to enter my existence. I'm not alive, just breathing. tell your dear cousin Love to fill my soul with glee and delight. call your friend Wealth to shower his blessings on me. Bring back the twins Family and Friendship to guide me. I need you. this facade i put on is slowly wearing off. let my heart rejoice and sing with elation again .

come back.
536 · Jan 2014
what kinda
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
what kinda person am I ?
what kinda writer am I ?
am I one of those euphoric persons who writes about their seemingly perfect relationships?
am I one those nature lovers who gives a illustration of their surroundings?
am I one of those somber and dreary persons who writes about their journey to death ?
Am I one of those zealous adventurers who details about the journeys they've had
Am I one of the many who writes about their countless heartbreaks and lets the pain flow through their fingers and straight to the paper?
Or am I one of those unpredictable individuals who just simply write what they feel when they feel to ?
I guess I'm a mixture of all of them
a suprising concoction that turns out to be angelic
I'm not really a writer you know
Im just a lover and a dreamer
With a heart that wants to be heard
530 · Dec 2016
Untitled
Kay-Ann Dec 2016
sensitive, soft and ******


vulnerable, violent and ******


radiant, raw and romantic


dazed, dreamy and *delicate
530 · May 2014
Courage
Kay-Ann May 2014
courage was a tall honey-golden skinned man
he had striking features
his face portrayed his African heritage is how round full lips and strong accent
all the women stopped chattering when they saw him
his broad shoulders and muscular arms swayed as he strode across the room
long wispy eyelashes fluttered over deep brown slanted eyes
his cheeks were rounded and flushed rose when he smiled

and his body was indeed a temple
he was always encased in an Armani suit which fit him beautifully
its so refreshing to see a man in a suit
his masculine build was adorned with the slightest timidness of his face
he seems to want something out of life
he seems to want to be more than the ordinary
he has ambition
he has grace
he has charisma and charm

and he embodies love
he embodies passion
I wish I had him
i would have the ability to do so much more
I would have adapted the art of being fearless and free

I wanted to know Courage
and I wanted Courage to know me
519 · Feb 2015
one day
Kay-Ann Feb 2015
one day I'll wake up and know what true happiness is.
509 · Jun 2014
night is my refuge
Kay-Ann Jun 2014
I never once found solace in the daytime
It's too bright, too revealing
I'm afraid the sun might shine and the heat will slowly melt off my facade
and you end up seeing the depths of my soul
exposing yourself is dangerous
you open up yourself to all types of feelings and emotions
and I'm not ready to deal with that
I don't want to be the girl who sells her soul because it's no longer useful
And I'll never give my soul to a lover again
Cause they always leave
and that's why I fell in love with the moon
because it faithfully showed up, night after night
so that's why my mind is as dark sky with infinite thoughts like the stars
and wherever the sun sets and darkness falls
I'll go because wherever it is, that's my home
506 · May 2014
my current feelings
Kay-Ann May 2014
right at this moment I just despise you . I hate your ******* guts. I wish I could break every bone in your body so you could feel the pain I felt when you left me. As I think of that terrible time , I can feel the tears coming , I can feel that surge of water coming forward in my eyes
do you know how much you hurt me that cold August day? I remember the exact words you said to me. I started shaking uncontrollably yet I couldnt move.

I was in hell for the next year. I was loving you and destroying myself at the same time while you were out living your life. I was dead ever since August 25, 2012
but then on June 2013 I met someone who made me dare to love again. I was scared as hell to step out on that ledge but he made me go. I was now willing to take the chance to self-destruct myself again
He brought me so much joy , it was refreshing to see the enthusiasm at which he loved me. He understood all my insecurities; in fact he accepted it. He did everything you failed to do

Now you wanna interfere with our relationship? I will never let you break us up no matter what. If our relationship is gonna end its not gonna be because of you, we gonna end it on our terms

You killed me already. Leave me alone now. Please
Let me live in peace
502 · Mar 2015
the process of art-making
Kay-Ann Mar 2015
The thing that scares me about poetry and just art overall is that no one has to like it. They don't have to understand you and comprehend what's going on inside of you. But we do it anyways in hopes that someone out there will stumble upon it and the earth will shake and their heart will smile and it will change them like it changed you. Nothing is guaranteed in art. And that's why I love artists so much. They're so brave. They put their heart and soul out there and hope someone will say "Oh hey I feel this way too." Artists deserve way more credit for they represent the human experience.

The process of art-making scares me but it's liberating.
494 · Jun 2014
save us
Kay-Ann Jun 2014
I'm trying to save us. I'm trying to keep us from falling apart
Cause to be honest you're something like the moon
thoughts of you always chase me at night and no matter how fast I run,
you always catch me
It's inevitable, you're inevitable
My dad always wondered why my room never had no light
and I told him I want my room as dark as my soul
He would roll his eyes and open the blinds but I didn't need the sunlight
You already illuminated somewhere within me
You dug your way inside me, planted a light bulb
that beams day and night and grew into flowers of euphoria
I like what you did to me. I like being happy
That's why I've been so paranoid lately
Cause I sense the end is near
and if it is, I don't wanna die alone
so please don't let me self destruct
and demolish us
494 · May 2014
shower thoughts
Kay-Ann May 2014
I'm here thinking about you and this situation of ours
and I feel an intense throbbing in my head
It came so suddenly with such ferocity, I decided to take a hot shower
The warmth of it always seems to make my pain evaporate
like the water as it touches my skin
and as it touches me, I get a revelation
A revelation so powerful, the water becomes even more heated
it's like the throbbing in my head was God knocking on the door
of my common senses and asking me kindly to wake up
Wake up and smell the roses?
No wake up and get moving
Cause all the roses are withered and dying sweetie
He tells me to remember that thinking of yourself isn't always selfish but necessary
God was telling me to save myself from the tornado that's coming
don't get ****** in by him, don't get caught in his whirlwind
Let go if you have to
The water becomes too hot and I turn it off
And I suddenly hear a commanding voice say
*"Make the throbbing stop"
492 · Jan 2014
who
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
who
who do we think we are ?
walking around like we own this place
walking around like we are the queen and king of this ****
ruling over the little peasants and commoners

we were never meant to be normal
we are heavenly, celestial beings
conceived by an angel and a prince

our births were the highlight of the country
they made a festival in honor of us
everyone brought gifts and jewels for us
everybody wanted to be us
thanking us for just being born

but that was long ago
we are no longer worshipped
we have grown into mature human beings
we are no longer royalty
and so the question still lingers
who do we think we are ?
485 · Jan 2015
mom.
Kay-Ann Jan 2015
today someone asked me what my mother was like
I hesitated
Do I talk about her appearence
About how life and the heat of Jamaica has watered her down to a mere 110 pounds
or about how her lovely mischievious eyes have sunken, aching to escape this world
or maybe about the way she looked at me with pain and remorse because she can't provide a meal
No I should talk about her personality
I should tell them she's very family oriented
She will gladly con any man and spew sweet lies into their ear if it means putting food on the table
And that she loves to dress me up as if I'm a doll and take me out like I'm the only prize she has ever won in her life
I should definitely tell them that she has become the men that hurt her
Now all she does is lie and leave
I will tell them she has given up on all hope of finding true love
And that the only thing that gets her through life is her Bible and a knife
I ponder all these things but I just finally say
"She's nice"
483 · Jul 2014
07/26/14 - 10:46 a.m.
Kay-Ann Jul 2014
The irony of this weather
the sun is shining but yet the rain comes pouring
isn't that a testament to how ****** up life can get?
euphoria can dwell in your soul
but the disease of melancholy will still attack
477 · May 2014
her
Kay-Ann May 2014
her
She has soulful dark brown eyes. You can tell she's been crying too
She's just glassy-eyed, almost as if she's not living in this world, just taking up space
Her eyes, they remind me of a twitching Christmas tree light that's about to go out
I keep on seeing this empty sad look in her eyes lately
It's not that look you get when you watch a sad romantic movie
Or when you watch those commercials about the little poor kids in Indonesia
It's that look you get when you've been drained emotionally
And it's starting to show physically
She no longer looks polished
No more buttoned-up shirts and skinny jeans
Just a camo hoodie and some old flared pants
She walks with a slouch that's telling of the sleepless nights she's had
And her lips are almost always moist with the tears she cried at 2 a.m.
She doesn't speak that much anymore
Her mouth is closed eternally to drown out the sound of her sobs
She wears this facade at home but I think her cousin is slowly wearing it off
One simple argument and she'll turn into a hurricane
Sending her harsh winds and torrential rain towards him
He doesn't understand why but someday he will
And she hates being at home. In fact home isn't really home
She glorifies the moment when she gets a chance to leave
That's where her demons are and she doesn't want them following her
I don't really know what's her deal
Maybe if I get to undress her thoughts and peel off her layers, I could understand her problems
I could be like a doctor and diagnose her
And maybe just maybe, I could bring back the twinkling in her eyes.

                                                      k.h
471 · May 2014
my list for you
Kay-Ann May 2014
what I like about you:
                                       the way your smile glitters like colored stones in the sun, the fact that you give me the sweetest compliments at the most unexpected times, the fact that we've been friends since high school started, how cute you look when you wear your hat turned backwards, the way you make my heart pulsate with ecstasy when you say I love you, that good morning text you sent me the day after we first got together and the way we laugh and talk like two old drunkards catching up on old times.

what I don't like about you:
                                               your disappearing acts, the fact that you always like other girls' pictures and not mine, the way you try to escape our serious talks, the way you dodged Chelsea's question about if you really love me, the fact that you don't wanna admit that you're not sure about how you feel about us, the way you laughed when I told you I missed you so much that I literally felt pain, how you don't crave to hear my voice as much as I crave to hear yours and the way how you make me feel like silent chaos when you're gone.
470 · Dec 2013
A. Part Two
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
I broke the awkward silence and spoke to you
An explanation was needed for your actions
Said you were in a really rough patch and didn't think you were good for me
That you weren't best for me
Well how the hell did you know that when you didn't even ask
Communication.
That was always our weak point
Who knows what we could have been if we just communicated more
I wish we did
But the past is the past
I'm still trying to move on
Honestly I still love you
I miss you dearly
Maybe one day we'll be together again
We will
We were meant to be something great
Me and you
I know it, i just know it .
465 · Apr 2014
j.
Kay-Ann Apr 2014
j.
I don't even know what to say
Eight months of this crap and I don't know what to say
you have already squeezed and ****** the life out of me
but now I'm really drained
I'm empty
It's not your words that hurt me
It's the silence
earth-shaking, heart-wrenching silence
I spilled the contents of my heart on your table of thoughts
and you replied with silence
I've fallen into this neverending desolate pit of doom and I cant get up back
I'm empty
I dug deep inside my soul and gave you things
i didnt even know I had
I'm empty
I'm tired
I'm empty
465 · Dec 2013
A.
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
A.
I sit here thinking and the cold hard truth hits me
I'm not over you
You're still in my heart, my body , my soul
You're in my veins
You were my first true love and you taught me so much
Yes we had our difficulties
Unfaithfulness was evident but that couldn't deny the love we had for each other
I thought love was all we needed
Yeah I thought
I'm very much still in love with you
I remember all the times we had and the little things you said that just made my day
When you see you out there I wave and smile like it's cool
But God knows its not
I break down and cry inside every time I see you
I remember the first day I met you
We were just so excited at the thought of just being together
Even then I knew you were gonna be special
See no one understands how much I loved you
And no one ever really will
They say you never forget your first love
You just never do
I for one know that's true
Kay-Ann May 2014
earth would be a cold place

bitter and revengeful

somewhat like how it is now but more harsh
457 · Feb 2014
Untitled
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
I wonder if biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you wanna do is be with someone

I wonder if scientists can decipher the actual pain I get from heartbreak
Kay-Ann Jun 2014
the heartbreak from a true love never really dies
that feeling follows you throughout your whole life
everything reminds you of them
you see a flower and it reminds you of the beauty of their soul
that gleam in their eyes is reminiscent of the moonlight
and you cant help but to wonder if that sparkle in his eyes left the day you did
thoughts of him wake you up and terrorizes you at 3 am
and you suddenly remember he has killed you
you're not really living
you could probably smoke with a ghost and still have more death in one puff than he did in his whole being
the heartbreak from a true love diminishes your soul
that feeling follows you throughout your whole life
and you can only hope that there is someone out there to wake up your soul and bring you back to existence
452 · Feb 2014
suicide
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
What is suicide?
they say it is the action of killing oneself intentionally
I guess being with you was exactly that
every single day was a beautiful disaster
My stomach was filled with dead butterflies
once glorifying at the sight of your face and sound of your name
but now deceased cause everything has changed

You once brought me so much bliss
but this isn't the love I thought it was
I don't know what happened
You just stopped being you
and you had loved me
I'm drowning in your pitch black sea of silence
our love is like a rope tied around my neck
and the more I try to think it's still real, the more it tightens
No, no, no! Stop strangling me
Leave him, leave him now I tell myself
but I cant move.
I let myself self-destruct
and I hate it
You could crack my chest open , rip my heart out with your bare hands
and I would still use my last gasping breath
to tell you I love you
I wont let go and you won't let go
and I hate it
you're killing me
and I hate it

What is suicide?
they say it's killing oneself intentionally
I guess falling in love with someone who can only love you
with a fraction of their heart is exactly what it is
449 · May 2014
dead inside
Kay-Ann May 2014
do you know what it feels like to be dead inside?
maybe it's when the rain becomes your tears that washes away everyone's fears but yours
do you know what it feels like to wake up and wonder why you're not dead?
maybe its when you realize that someone ripped out your heart and threw it away?
do you know what it feels like?
I don't think you do
Cause you've never given someone your whole heart and have it stepped on in return
You've never stayed up late just to make sure someone was alive
Have you?
Would you give a lung to them just so you could feel them breathe?
Would you give a leg for them just so they could stand up for you?
Would you give a eye for them just so they could see how happy you are to have them?
Would you give your heart to them just so they could at least feel a portion of the love you have for them?
If so, you know how I feel cause you feel it too
and I'm sorry
Because I'm broken in ways I can't even explain.
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