Month of January,
My words wander through
Your snow to gather
Crystalline Icycles and fragrance
From burning fires.
Come Winter, my love,
The grey days of chill
Warm the heart,
A blessed scape for holding
My lover drifting in white days,
The flakes fall as you approach
And form a memory,
Frozen in my eyes as though
The season were brought upon
Just for this moment.

Look, in my eyes,
Yours,
An angel walks in the snow
So that the cold sun could
Shinedown upon you,
Cotton and your rose petal
Cheeks, smile at me as
You shiver and kiss the crimson
Of your lips,
The season of Winter,
A reason to hold you....

Are you out there my Friend.? ? Somewhere The Wind is blowing..? Where your footprints are gone as soon as left. No one to know. No one Knowing.?
       Are you in the Wind? ? A voice, distant, lost in the swirl of snow and Autumn leaves.? Your way Home...unknown.
       The next step taken, but down what path.? Will it lead through this wood, or wander Forever this Dismal forest of Bramble and Thorn? Your clothes ragged, tattered, torn.No shelter in sight. No sheltering insight.
   Crows with eyes bright. Plucking at your sleeves and dress. Catching your skin with talons that gleam, bleeding you like a priest with a fleem. Leaving you wounded and hurt., weary and wary.
       If you would stand still but a moment., cease your struggling and stumbling. Just listen, you'll hear my voice
On the Wind.
Calling you Home.
Safe within the walls and warmth of my arms.

And that night
That wondrous, victorious night
We betrayed our morals
And we drank
Without an ounce of fear in our eyes
We laughed
And allowed the hazy liquid to
Smother our lips
Our lips quivered and shook
From its great immensity
Its strength and valour
As if this bottle was a knight
In a ****** battle
Addict
To the smell of blood
His vigorous effort to defeat the enemy...
Sober, the enemy
Was defeated before the night turned
Pitch black with whispers
Of pale yellow light

And we drove off...
Slowly into the night
As her sheer darkness kissed us

We laughed
The car shook from side to side
Like maniacs we drove

The sound of screaming brakes
I caught my breath
And we stopped
Our eyes bewildered
At the monstrous truck...
Bright terrible lights
That shined...

On our terrified faces
Of what could've been
Death on this road
On the tar pavement...

What could've been
But what was not

We were alive
Breathing heavily
Hearts dropped to the ground
With defeat

Defeated by the idea of life itself...

And our tongues rapidly swept the land
Of this new self discovery
Of a life that must be lived
Of a life
That begs and pleads
For us to live
To breathe
To have a story to tell from each day
To live fully
And effervescently

I say
Live.

I'm not gonna let you know how much I miss you.
I am definitely not going to show you how hurt I am.
How much I just wish we were laying there together.
Or that I could be looking into your haunting eyes.

I'm not anywhere near you though.  
I'm here, you're there... With her.
You talk with me, I feel pathetic for talking to you still.
Yet, here I sit every day for over a week talking away.

I don't get why I just can let you treat me like this
From the first time I saw you, you had my attention.
I was drawn to you, you easily draw me in with the slightest glance.
You're like my personal quicksand, the more I try fight it the worse it is.

In a mere instant it felt like to me, you wanted me,
Then someone else.
That shook me.
So quickly and without warning we went from falling for one another
Where your lips constantly were on mine,
Then you,  were just gone.
You were with her.
I guess I just didn't see it coming and I still don't understand.

You say it has nothing to do with me
That what you felt, and what you said was not a lie.
None of it was planned.
Your explanation is a simple "I don't know I'm just ******."

You worth mote than that to me, you were more than just a ****** up individual who walked away from me.
My very common mistake, a lesson I never seem to learn.
People don't value me as much as I value them.
I sit here feeling like shift,
Hoping you would incessantly call me again.

Because besides me taking this pen to this paper,
Sitting here pouring my heart onto the page
I don't have much else to do.
Even less that makes me smile.
Not much can make me smile like just your presence does.

It was good while it lasted
I wish you could have been as happy as you made me.
I will be over you, I know this it isn't my first time catching feelings.
I know how it goes, all this will all be out of my mind shortly.
Someone new will come along and maybe this one will want me the i wanted you to

Maybe he will miss me as much as I miss you.
Maybe I will get as lost in his eyes as I do in yours.
Maybe just seeing him will make me feel like I am thirteen again
Just like everytime I saw you.

Until then I'm just gonna sit here, hurting
Hoping you change your mind
Asking fate to smack you upside the head
Hoping you could find everything you want and need in me.

A girl can hope can't she?
Even i know it will never happen.
For this moment I feel a little better.

Refined, I'm sweating gasoline
Set myself ablaze
Just to light the cigarette of my dreams
My natural state has changed
But hasn't stopped getting in my way
Takes a drink to strike an ember
Stagnant black glowing amber
Cooking my assumptions with timidity  
Chaotic pieces tempered into
Wavering unpredictability
Directionless enmity
Enemies at wind
Cooled to harden
Forced to torch again

The burgundy and crimson
trickle down into a spiral.
Flashes of topology, geography
and more.
Amber visions old and new collected and
restored.
The truth is far and fetched
the cords are played to follow score.
The visage of a sun and moon
battle for attention.
Images of white and black
take refuge in the floor.
Store the rest in attic space, a car
or in the plaster.
The process is consistent and
the data all secure.