did you eat today
sure I did, I ate plenty
of lonely with a side
of regret and a
sprinkling of pure
sadness and for
dinner I ate my
tears and I watched
my blood eat me
alive and suddenly
I wasn't so hungry
anymore..

But you knew when she was sad,
          
        The circles under her eyes got darker,
                    
                     The sound of her voice got softer,
    
                             The size of her waist got smaller,
    
                                     And her smile?
                                                
                                                       *Disappeared

i talked to you
i told you
all the things that i feel for you...
you said nothing on the topic,
so im guessing that's what you feel, *nothing

your
eyes,
lips,
hands,
you...
******  *me with
every look,
every word
every touch
you own me,
even after all this time
**even though i dont own you

Swallow those tears.
Turn your face away.
Blame the allergies.
Smile.
Show some teeth.
Laugh.
Put away all the insecurities.
The thoughts the demons whisper in my ears.
The terrible heartache that claws at your chest when you think of him.
The urge to yell and scream,
To burst into tears and punch a wall.
To be mean to everyone.
To prove that you're a *****.
Just stop.
Smile.
You are fine.

Pretend.

Fake it till you make it, right?
:)





























































­





















no one cares anyways.
don't burden anyone.
don't let them come close and see the mess that you are.
you're gonna hurt them anyways.

everyone says that you don't actually need your boyfriend, you just want him.
but i do, i need him.
and tell that to the old woman whose husband just died and she loved her whole life.
and when they pronounce her dead and they say it was 'broken-heart-syndrome' tell her family that the doctors were wrong, that no one can die from an emotionally induced heart break .
i dare you. tell them.
and if you wouldnt tell that old woman, why would you tell me that?
and when i ask you that, don't tell me that its different because its not.
because i love him, just as much as that old woman loved her husband.
and just because she was born in a different time, that their generation was completely different.
and don't tell me that everything will be fine, because it won't.
i won't ever be able to forget him, like i've been able to forget the others from before.
don't tell me it's just a want.