the world is beautiful but i'm ready to die. i found you but why haven't i found myself? am i supposed to be happy?

"flightless bird"

you're beautiful
you're beautiful in the way i want to scream your name
you're beautiful in the way you make me smile
you're beautiful in the color of your eyes

My heart is beating
But I am not alive.
Yet with blood flowing through my veins
I cannot claim the sweet victory of death.
Rather, the meaningless days consume me
Passing by so easily as I whither away.
They laugh and grin as time wastes them.
But I find it leaves a bitter taste on my lips,
That causes me to sometimes wonder
If I am doomed to die with my last breath,
Leaving behind legends of nothingness,
And no one to remember my name.

pimples and mint life savers
flirting over text and pink lipgloss
crying in class and acting like you hate the world
traveling in groups, friendships you think will last a lifetime and homework you never do
you never thought you'd have to grow up, did you?
everything is temporary
lockers and passing notes
doing everything you can so the cute boy your mother likes will daydream about you, too
everyone in your first hour literature class won't remember your name in 15 years when we all have kids and we marry someone because you simply have no reason not to
colorful backpacks and varsity sports
thinking high school would be the best four years of your life
why would someone lie to you?
gossip and holding hands
you never realized the guy across the hall would break your heart and rip your new blouse, did you?

I promised I'd stop searching for the ocean in my veins

Because only you
Can make me love
The smell of cigarettes and *****
And only you can make a cold night
Just a little warmer.

I put my love for you in a jar
And placed it on the dusty shelf
in the cellar.
This way I can pretend it's not there anymore
Tucked away in a dark corner of my heart