I-
I-
am sick to my stomach
stiff like driftwood
thinking about you and her together
I-
I-
am sick to my stomach
knowing you are not honest

Sometimes I'm good
But now I'm even better
I can't control my feelings
When I break out into sweaters

And colors stand out so much
And then also I wear some collars
People think I have it made
But I feel jealous of ballers

And people who live with others
And people who live with brothers
And sisters and then their covers
Hide all of their different lovers

But hiding is not one way
They take them and then here's what hurts
There's one thing and then another
And I might just be a pervert

But I can't avert my thoughts
I would love to be in a circle
Spinning a bottle hotly
And making my face turn purple

It turns red! And white
But I want more social pressure
Not the keep-me-up-at-night one
But the one that seems much better

But it can't be fabricated
And it can't quite be sought out
And it won't happen to me
Because I have too many doubts

And shrouded beneath my mouth
Is a superego completely
Controlling my every move
So how could someone ever read me

And be comfortable or open
When my mind is like the ocean?
I go with the flow but know this
I can take you on a gross trip

And by that I mean a lame one
Where your boat is somewhat closed in
And you're trapped with me and feel some
Unappetizing emotions

That's the mood that people's faces
Take on when my mouth is open
And then I go out and chase them
But my heart just feels quite broken

And I used to think it was them
which is odd since I often blame me
But then my new realization
Made me wake up to the new key

See part of me loves all people
And part of me holds myself back
So if I could just now solve that
Could I live how I want real bad?

The sky outside is lilac and purple
The clouds hang like smoke outside my window
The draft which finds its way in sends slithers of air through
Drip feeding my lungs
Leaving me wanting

I bought you a gift
It was only small, something sweet
It might last long enough to sugar up some of the bitter days
I don't have paper to wrap
So I wrapped it in my favourite scarf
I don't want it back

I wrote three pages in my diary
Of all the things I haven't been able to tell you
When I think about it my lungs contract
My heart stops and starts
I don't want you to know that I'm in pain
I just want to say sorry

The sun has disappeared now
The purple has sunk into a rich velvet
The clouds cling like strands of cotton
And I am enveloped in the magnificence of the earth around me
If only I could have told you
We could have marvelled at it together.

I watch the water
beam from the sun
and that is what you call
making love
The Earth is the greatest poet I know.
I pluck at her expression
every so often
merely attempting
to translate her lyrics
into something,
just something
we can all feel and understand

My heart is pockmarked
Like the face of the moon
Oh, from loving you
And you and you

The craters on my heart
Left, from the massive destruction
Of giving so much
In return, receiving nothing

From a distance
My love appears whole
But those pieces have been lost
Oh, to you
And you and you

Are hearts really pink?
Mine feels black and blue
Oh, from you
And you and you

My heart's fire
Burns passionately around the blackened craters
Oh, not for you
And you and you.

Create enough space in your heart to forgive those that hurt you
This doesn't mean create space for them to return
Know the difference