As I sit here,
rooted to the ground
like the trees that surround,
day fades to night
and the sky sheds its color.
I gaze longingly as lovers pass
on the dimly lit
moonlight path,
charged on the energy
they generate together.

As I sit here
waiting for you,
I wonder if we will
ever be like that.
I wonder if you will ever feel
the current I feel
when you're around.
Your smile alone,
sends a spark through me
strong enough to knock me down.
I struggle to stay grounded
next to you.

As I sit here
I wonder when
it will be our turn
to love the fire inside.
To let it out
and show the world
how we burn for each other.

Until then
I will stay rooted here
waiting...
for you to unearth
the love
we've both been
waiting for..

your heart is beating;
the music is already playing.
you just have to dance.

So you're with her
An its bitter sweet
I see your instagram amd tweets
And im left asking what about me?

But i see you with her
The way you look at her
You looked. At me like that once
Oh but her smile they way she smiles

You are happy
happier than i ever made you
And thats all i could ask if you
It makes me happy seeing you two

Makes it easier to get over you
Knowing your happy, i know its sappy
But i still have those moments
Where i miss you

Those moments when you know im not ok
When you hug me goodbye, i want it to last
When i leave, i miss the kiss goodbye
Honestly i miss elephants and butterflies

But you found new butterflies
Ive never seen her this happy
Make her smile, be happy
I still love you, but friends can love eachother too

Reminded of a time when I felt so dark inside
Almost as if my identity was slowly being erased from this earth.
My reflection one big blur.
My identity non existent.

I no longer recognize the girl in the mirror.
Her pretty face with hollow eyes.

A small part of her afraid for her.
And the rest numb to the realization.
Man!
I almost lost her.
I want to apologize to her.
For almost refusing to harken to my truth.

For almost extinguishing her bright contagious flames.
For almost becoming the sad women, yet a beautiful fool.
  
I now vow to fight for her
To become the warrior princess she is destined to be.

I vow to always listen to her truth
I want to acknowledge her dreams and opinions.
I embrace her like never before.

Like war paint on my face,
I will wear a smile whenever I want
A tear whenever I want
A grin and even a blank slate whenever I want.

She is unapologetically me.

Never to be hidden again
Never an imposter of my truth - my true self

I will be me- me in it's purest form

And any disagreements or negative challenges or wills to change it will quickly be removed without hesitation.

For she will be seen.
She will be heard .
She will be loved and aware .
She will be.

She is here to stay
She is fearless, driven and believes in magical miracles daily.

She is me.
She is Shayleen.

I love you
I sent it to you
And i meant it
You opened it i saw the dots
The one, two, three dots
Then they disappeared
And my heart sunk
One second of oh its okay
Its all okay hes just be distracted
Two, too busy right now
Life is hard for him right now
Three, one two three what about me
The anxiety rising. Until they disappeared
My heart hit the floor
With a painful crash and guteral roar
Hours pass and finally you write back
"Sorry didn't see that"
But you did, and you didn't say it back

don't let me forget my smallness.
remind me that without you
i am nothing, i have nothing,
that everything beautiful in me
comes from you
that my soul,
my words
belong to you.
don't let a day go by
without me thinking of you,
talking to you,
wanting to hear your voice.
draw me closer.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.