I loved you so much
And I thought you loved me too
I thought I loved you
But maybe love is not you
And maybe love is in me.

He told me we'd go on a date,
(I felt his hands around my waist)
The park, coffee, just don't be late.
(and cringed away with foul distaste)

I wondered why I cried like this,
I want to love, to feel okay,
What was wrong, what was amiss?
But something made me shy away.

He made me smile and laugh and scream.
His lips said "I love you so much,"
We kissed, we hugged, we were a team.
I felt it too, but feared his touch.

Daddy issues really ****.
I lie, I cheat, just not to ****.

I loved you so, my shining star.
From who you were, to where you've been,
to whom you've met, to what you've seen.
Your shining light is who you are.

From knighted woods to Myanmar,
some only see a lit cigar,
though to me you're a shining queen...
I loved you so.

When you're near or even afar
I'd follow you to all bazaars.
But none could possibly have seen
that something worse was our routine,
that what you'd leave was really scars.
I loved you so...

Oh Lord, why have you taken my happiness from me?
It was needed, important, oh why can't you see?
The smiles, the laughter, the woes and woe-nots,
Weren't all taken stride, more often than aught.

With its life you took mine, it is sad but it is true.
The time we had was far from few,
My pride and joy was in the womb,
But oh dear death, your sadness loomed.

I understand why your time was short,
You were needed somewhere, a high court.
Oh child of mine who'd never see day
I know I couldn't have asked you to stay.

I sat on the couch, alone,
because a deep sadness I was prone.
I'd feel it in my bones, my hair,
But happiness was too much to dare.
I'm safe up here in my little cloud,
where even death is not that loud.

Crazy wasn't in this job description.
The wailing continued
as she filled the bath tub.
The water cradled her mind,
and then it was quiet.

He walked towards me, and I
grinned. He looked so alive in this
light. His hands reached out for me
and I evaded him, running into the
kitchen. We always played games
like this, a cat and mouse sort of
thing. He staggered in, his toothy
grin glaring up at me. I smiled and
waltzed around him, and he
followed, just like he always did. We
danced for a bit, before I wandered
over to him, smiling and looking into
his glassy, clouded eyes as I lifted
the hefty axe over my head and
hacked his decaying, undead head off.