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Fires ablaze within my eyes,
A smile concealing all my lies,
Screaming, begging, calling out,
A final, frantic, desperate, shout.

Scarlet tears drip from each vein,
A vehement covet to end this pain,
This silver blade, stays by my side,
Because all hope inside has died.

As each day ends, and darkness draws,
The devil toys, with all my flaws,
I'm helpless, alone, a worthless mess,
A broken child, he must address.

I'm tempted when he calls my name,
A way out, an escape, an end to shame,
To make it feel a lot less real,
A deal with the Devil, in blood must I seal.

They'll say I died of suicide,
But no one knows how much they've lied,
It wasn't a rope, a blade, or pills,
That broke my soul, and gave me chills.

I died inside so long before,
To live each day, an endless chore,
Pills could not **** what was already dead,
A twisted soul, an empty head.

In darkness I wait, in silence, alone,
Rose-tinted nostalgia, all around me has grown,
I beckon the devil, with the key of self-harm,
And I open the door for him, with the blood of my arm
It's like
New York was and is this big *** ******* hole
And As I entered I saw no light
.....and I still see no light
I physically see no light
But the light is in the galaxies
It's in my destiny
You see
It's hell to me physically right now
And it's hard
...but right now the light is a simple bliss
It's within
And if I flourish it
And believe in it
...than maybe
Just maybe will that light come to life
And maybe will my tomorrow be a bit brighter
...mmmhhh
Coming to New York was very hard...in Pennsylvania confidence was all I ever dreamed of...and was all I wasn't...I was so insecure, I hated myself...so I hid mentally...I hid away from ppl, pushed them away and all I saw was hate...I still see hate but I see something else also...I see hope...I really do...I see it in the back of my mind in the tiniest hole beneath all of my facade it's their I promise...
Everything of you is a part of me.
Your beautiful side is what I always see. With your warm embrace
In some dark days you are my star.
If I said 'I love you'
and tried to change my fate
I know you wouldn't smile
or even mutter a phrase
for those are not the words you wish
to hear from someone who helped you
say 'I love you'
to the girl across the room
10w
you are still fine
and i'm still pretending to be.
how many more days do i have to wait until i'm not lying when i say i'm okay?
 Feb 2015 Kaitlyn A Warnken
KT
Void
 Feb 2015 Kaitlyn A Warnken
KT
It screams.. Oh god, it does scream.
All I feel now is sorrow and pain,
just looking for things to punish and blame.
Trapped, I lost all type of sense.
Pushed from all sides, as a block of stone my heart is dense.
Oh, it does scream..
Nobody hears.
I cry, my soul is full of tears.
I look in the mirror,
I don’t recognize that guy.
Who is he? What has he become?
I hear them calling,
that’s not my name.
I look not with my eyes,
and all I see is a stranger.
Surounded by people I am alone.
“Get away you filth, begone!”
If they knew what’s in my blood,
they’d nail me on a pike, oh God.
From the bottom to top I’m filled with hate.
Nobody can’t even think of passing my gate.
My face I can’t stand to look.
Who are you stranger, you who my face took?
From me, for me I feel fear.
I’m not getting out of this void anytime near.
And I do know, that deep hate has been born
from deeper love that has been torn.
Coming to one morning
My dreamy eyes espied
The moon reflected in a spoon
The tea had sunshine in the cup
The plate of toast was sea
The fire of love was in my heart
And lived along with me
My daily chore was simple
To make the seasons bright
To come and face the morning
After uncertainty of night.
Keep smiling through the daytime
Make contact with your self
Avoid the downsides in the way
Especially your wealth
Life has many promises
Most may not agree
That always there is cheerfulness
Along the road you see.
Make every day your challenge
And smile if you are sad
It's rarely quite as nasty
Or anything like as bad.
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