When you get up and want to make the bed
when the voice from his head
is still humming in your ears
when your lulling
and dreaming
and being pulled softly by his touch
when your moaning and groaning
because you love him
much too much
And all these long winding echoes
of laughter so close
and so far
repeat in unison
over the spot in your heart
where he left that god awful scar.
And your speeding away
a million miles a minute,
your running
until you escape all the voices and noises
and you stop to catch your breath
and then the voices come back
you scream
you attack
you fall to your knees
beg them please
How did I get in this mess?
It's this empty chaos
this stupid game...
until you decide...
why refrain?
and so you sleep
and dream
and let it ALL stream
there's no denying the love
it just doesn't have to be
the way you make it seem
so you let yourself go,
you let him know,
you let it all flow
Attachment gone
Just love,
its simple enough
And now your jumping on pink skylines
and flying
a million miles
a minute
<3

It's still poetry
no matter how you deliver your message
if you can put your thoughts into a verse
then go ahead and put out your lyrical burst

It's still poetry
whether you freestyle or write spoken word
or limerick or acrostic, haiku or Shakespearean, your voice should be heard

It's still poetry
writing about experience or just testing your rhyming ability it's all fair game
just because one style doesn't speak to you doesn't make it all lame

It's late I know
2 am but I can't seem to go to bed
Thought of you just roam around
Stalling my escape for the night
It takes over me and I'm never in control
I want to eat
Go down stairs and eat
Maybe drink those drinks we always had
We were good at that
getting drunk for days
Drunk off our *****
But what use is it now
I have no one
It's a joke to think I was special
Why could we only have fun when we were both unconscious
It's fun to think what could have been
Or maybe just torture
either way it's fake
Cause you will never be able to show me
What you truly want
Or if you truly care
Without a sip of that drink
Those drinks we always had

Remember how we use to be
Always laughing
We could never get enough
We stood in line that one day
Because you promised me ice cream
And I just had to have that waffle cone
Sorry I was a mess I guess it became too much
Because that first year was a start
To what I don't know
But a start that never seemed to finish
Because it was interrupted
Maybe it was me
Actually it probably was
Did I change or you, it's know use questioning
Because that winter, perhaps it was the cold, but you went with the season
Those laughs turned into fights and your eyes became a new shade of color
One that I had never seen
There wasn't anymore ice cream and you didn't care
But I watched as this mess grew to something that consumed me
What we became was someone I didn't recognize
Someone I couldn't be
So this is my apology
For leaving, for choosing myself
Maybe it didn't affect you and maybe you didn't notice.
But saving myself was the best **** thing I did
God and am I glad
But on nights like this when I feel lonely
I think of what could have been
If that snow didn't sweep you away
the memories of us laughing that first year. And I thank you for not chasing after me.

this is my destiny to
fall into a dream
writhe in harmony
and rhythm feel
all of the worlds
best scenery and
bleakest visions, see
waves children playing in
them on calm shores with baskets filled with applesplums cherries
no one suffering ,
on the other eye lid wishing to close are slaughtering of
innocents, children wishing for one drop of hope,
as they wash themselves in putrid rivers ,
mothers of them, I feel see too. How might I feel if
I were rich. Would I probably turn my head. To see
what I get, or what I gave to eternity?

why, what's wrong?*

sometimes everything, sometimes nothing, sometimes i don't even know.  

depression shows up uninvited and makes a home in my chest.