and late at night
when i'm half out of my mind
with clouds dancing in my head and the
sweet taste of wine on my lips
fumbling through my purse
looking for a cig to burn away the feelings.

through the fog and the clouds
i still only think of one thing
and one thing alone
its you
it's always you
no matter what

i called you in the middle of the night only to hear your voice
before hanging up
why does it have to be like this
i miss you i miss you i miss
i really miss you

and at the end of the day
i'm left loving someone
who only wants what he can't have

and now that he can have me
he no longer wants me

we haven't spoken in a few weeks
ever since i told you that i  love you
and you told me you were with her now
we agreed to still be friends though
(that didn't even last a month)

sometimes i'll catch glimpses of you
either running between classes
or when i'm sitting alone at lunch
and you'll sit just within view
but because you're with her, you won't look my direction

you told me you're the happiest you've ever been
but sometimes i notice you sitting in your car
which is always coincidentally parked not far from mine
and only when i reach for my keys,
do you turn on your engine and speed away
and i wonder if maybe
you were waiting
in hopes of seeing me too
even if it's only for second

maybe one day (preferably soon)
i'll find a new spot to eat lunch
and i'll stop slowing down whenever i see you
and you'll wait in your car,
but i'll have found a new parking spot too

*k.k. // ps. you left your lights on again

I've known for a long time that I love you.
Not really in the cliché movie kind of way,
but in the "you're my best friend and I could spend every day talking to you for the rest of my life" type of way.
But that didn't mean I was ready for any kind of relationship,
or even that I wanted one.
Love for me just meant that I was happy to have you in my life, and know that you were mine.
My favorite thing about you has always been your mind.
You're intelligent and the way you think about things is so different from anyone I've ever met.
You have an intriguing perspective on life,
and weirdly enough that's beautiful to me.

and one day i may think back to all those nights
when we stayed up so late
that just as we drifted ways
the sun was beginning to peak in the horizon

and we talked about
our passions
our fears
our insecurities
all of the secrets that we knew no one else would understand
and we mapped out our future
like we had everything figured out
and we knew exactly what we wanted out of life

and one day when i do happen to think back to that time in our lives
when having each other
was all we really needed
just maybe
i'll be okay
because even though
we don't speak anymore
i'll be so grateful for that even a short time
you were mine
and i can't help but believe with all of my heart
that what we had
was something that most people go a lifetime
without ever finding

i'd rather fight with you the rest of my life
than to make love
to anyone else