at night,
I used to lay in my bed
crying.
now,
I just lay there
with a blank expression on my face.
I never thought I'd get used the feeling,
well...
the feeling of whatever feeling this is.

                                                                                   but I did.

i really hate to hate you sometimes

This differs. But for me, it is something you feel for someone who you would give up anything for. Without them, the world is irreversibly incomplete and you are no longer satisfied with anything. You need them so much; life is better just because their heart is still beating. No one is better than them. They are the best for you and in your eyes they are perfect. Any moment not with them is just a waste of this infinite life in which you hope to spend all your days with them. When you feel deep down they are there. They help you through anything and everything, not caring if they get anything out of the efforts. When somethings up, they never settle for an "I'm okay." When you shout or lose your temper and hurt their feelings after a while they will forgive you (even when you still feel like a complete ****). This is because they love you. Love at times is not mutual. Nor is it perfect. But when anything is in doubt, just ask them. They will know. And be honest if they don't. No one is flawless, and we all have mistakes. But making mistakes for that one person is all worth it if it means seeing them smile. When you embrace your arms around their body life seems at its peak. Nothing is better at the time; No matter the time or place or whatever situation there may be. You feel fearless with them, and if they don't. It wouldn't matter too much. After all, it's love.

There are things one can let others know by saying them, others things need to be shown by specific actions. At times actions show more than what one can ever be declared, vise versa. But do things naturally fall into two categories? No, and of course there is a piece in between where they cross between and is that a good thing? Again, there is no way for one to answer the question without lacking in the circumstances. And the conditions are where it reveals how little I know about everything. I'm finding out about the anything and everything to help this, this abstract blur that I keep searching for. If there are gaps, we always choose to build a bridge where there might not be intended to be one. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't run so blindly to things that devise anyone. Stop and think. Think about the simplest of happenings and think about the rarities. What are the odds then? 4.543 billion years. 7.53 billion people. Seven continents and an incredible number of casualties. Still, here it is — what a time to be alive. No one is given a choice but what's there to it? There are countless things I've left boiling in me, and an even more significant amount that I've left unsaid. But the saccharine feeling of merely being surrounded by knowing people like this exist is incomparable. I like being while another person I care about is also being. It makes me feel less like such a human being and more of an extraordinary thing. If you jump, please do so knowing wherever you may land could potentially lead. remember that when you jump, it may lead to severe states, or to places and feelings you'll enjoy forever. "All we wanna know is where the stars came from But do we ever stop—ever stop to watch them shine? Or are we staring with—staring with ungrateful eyes?"