Today someone asked
‘Did she love you’.
Because my love for her was stolen
A brush of hands, of fingers tangled together but always in the dark
A press of lips to her collarbones, her cheeks, her neck but never her lips
It was bruised shoulders and bruised egos,
Lost declarations and lost promises.
It was the words I whispered in her ear while my hands danced across her ribs
Or the words requested in the deep of the night when sleep was to far and nightmares not far enough.
It was second glances and curious friends
And stretches of silence and hushed arguments in the vacant corners of rooms.
She stole my “I love you"s and stitched them into her skin like armor.
And then she wore her armor to kiss other girls in the dark and to press promises into their skin,
To hold them the way I held her,
To love them the way I thought I’d loved her.
I thought I could protect myself from the pain,
But when I looked, I’d found that I’d given all my armor away.
Today someone asked
‘Did she love you’

You said you couldn’t love me
Because eventually, I would leave you
Or people would come between us
And force us apart.
But I guess you had to know that in the end
Your cold indifference pushed me away
Anyway.

I wondered if I could be enough for you
If I could whisper love into the fractures
Of yourself you hid away
If I could hand you bits and pieces
So you could rebuild anew.
But the foundation you rebuilt,
Was made of pieces you took
Until I was no longer enough
For both you and me.

I always thought when I left
I’d be leaving you behind
I’d be leaving us behind and moving on
Without you by my side.
And you’d resigned yourself to that
I think.
You said I was destined for great things:
To see great things
To do great things
To be a great thing.
I thought we were a great thing.
So maybe that’s why you left
Before I could ever say goodbye.