Not your name
Not your nationality
Below all the fame
Below the unreality
Deep down
Who are you?

Forget your license
Forget your authorization
Forget your conveyance
Forget every legal documentation
Now tell me
Who are you?

Deep down in the dark room of your empty soul
Deep down below your average conscience
There are only the things you put there yourself  
All your unused options
And the unanswered questions
like 'Who are you?'


Deep down below
There are only feelings
All your feelings
That you chose to confine
But it really doesn't matter who you are deep down
Because nobody carries around a shovel all the time.

as long as you're by my side
there's nothing that I shouldn't hide

and while you rest in this life we've built
ridding yourself of yesterday's guilt

I wait until your storm is over
don't look away until your know her
and i know that you are a few months sober
but wake me up in mid-October
to the only time I feel alive
so you and i can just survive

you people talk about
alcohol,  drugs
***
and money
these are your poison
these are you honey.

and these poisons
make you giggle
and dream
laugh
make you scream.
these are your poisons.

and they make you feel
hungover
and cold
sore
and empty
but these are still your poisons.

but my poison
is that of your eyes
your milky blue liquid
that fills those two lies

my poison
lies
between your fingers
where all your secrets
hide
that's where I find
all your troubles linger

my poison lies
in the tangles of your hair
let your chest calm and rise
as you don't notice my stare.
these are your poisons.

my poison lies in
your empty bed
no pillow, no head.
where you left my embrace
and you poisoned my  grace.

Thank you for breaking me
And making me
A better me

Thank you for hurting me
And making me
A stronger me

Thank you for shooting me
And making me
Bulletproof

Thank you for burning me
And making me
Fireproof

Sadly enough
I am just not sad at all
Buy not happy either
Just indifferent it seems
To this world around me
And I’m tired of thinking
About all of theses thoughts
I am screaming for help
But my voice is trailing off
My mind keeps wondering
And my judgment keeps faltering
While I’m just stuck here
Figuring out my emotions

I fell in love with you all over again in a hospital waiting room

I fell in love with the deep purple under your eyes
like delicate bruising

I fell in love with the paleness of your lips
from lack of nutrients

I fell in love with the way you moved slowly
and achingly wrapped in a white blanket the color of your skin

I fell in love with the deep crimson of your blood
as it ran through your IV

I fell in love with you again as I laid with you in the hospital bed at 3 am

we’d been there for 10 hours
and you had a little too much morphine in your system
and a lack of sleep
when you pulled me close and said

“I could really see myself marrying you some day”

and that was right before you kissed me with your dye stained lips
so they could see your insides better on the x-ray

I fell in love with you again when you looked at me with your
big hazel eyes that turn black around the edges

You said god had sent me from heaven
An angel to watch over you

I'm not too sure about that but what I do know is:

I Do

I remember every right word and the scars they left.
I remember every bottle that broke on the floor.
I remember how I swore I tried my best.
I remember how you swore I could do more.
I remember how we knew our time was coming.
I remember how our watches would snap at the band.
I remember how the sea gave way to our ship,
But I couldn't bare to leave the sand...

I do believe that believers exist,
but I fear that I'm the last one left.
I took a shot in the dark, I missed.
I hit my heart again instead.

I do not think I'm winning,
I just don't want to be confused.
I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
as my bones break and skin starts to bruise.

I know no one can live forever,
but I wish that I could pick and choose.
I swear I'd be the first in line.
I swear you'd be position number two.

I walk a fine line of words I write.
I point my fingers and accuse.
You take the ink away from me.
You scream "this ink ain't being used."

I wrote a million letters.
I wrote a sad story or two.
I wrote too many dots of silence,
I wrote too many "I" and "You's."
I drew too many pictures.
I erased so many things straight from the heart.
I told you one too many times,
"I swear we'll never grow apart..."

I remember every right song and the lines they left.
I remember every teardrop that crashed on the floor.
I remember how I swore it was just a guess.
I remember how you swore I'd never learn.
I remember how we knew our smiles were fading.
I remember how our touches would stop at the hand.
I remember that ground that allowed us to walk on
But I couldn't bare to see us land...