“You are gaining weight”
“I do not care about you”
“You are just like your mother, her side of the family is messed up”

Would you maybe, like to reconsider what you just said?
I hate to admit it, but your words cut deeper than a knife
I’m trying so hard, but they are getting to my head
Maybe reflect on how your words are ruining my life
How I grew up hating myself, wishing I could be someone better instead

They say that family is important, that bonds are important
But I’m starting to reconsider
That maybe family is not the blood that runs through my veins
Or the group of people that share my last name
But it is a group of people where I can feel enough
I’m starting to reconsider
Whether I should stay by your side
Because yes, you do provide me with food, shelter, and the necessities of life
I walk on eggshells, reading your jawline for intentions of strife
You may be family but you should know
If you do not reconsider your actions, your own family will become your foe

Open wounds are bleeding cuts exposed to the sun
Caused by a knife or a scratch from a run
They are lines on the skin that fade after a while
At least that is what it is in people’s mind files

But sometimes blood is not the only thing that flows
Sometimes tears or numb expressions are the only thing that’s shown
Sometimes they are not simple lines that just fade away
For some they run deep, they are there to stay

Some wounds feel sharp like a knife on skin
But to some those wounds are short moments of relief, heaven
Compared to the wounds inside their head
Telling them that they are worthless, they are better off dead
If people look on the inside they will realize, they will find
Not all open wounds mark the body, they can also mark the mind

You only feel the waves tsunami that I have summoned
You only feel the winds of my hurricane that's threatening to blow you away
You only hear the daggers upon my tongue
You only see the red gleam of my eyes filled with rage...

But in the eye of my storm
My inner child is screaming
Save me
I feel like I'm drowning
I feel the darkness filling up inside my lungs
As I attempt to fix the bleeding that has begun
The eyes of the world sees someone who's not perfect
They only see my walls, my flaws, and everything that's wrong

I just want someone to love me
Want someone who won't leave
Want someone to shield me from the war inside my mind
I just want things to feel alright

I swear I don't want to hurt anyone
But things feel lonely when you are the only one
Who understands you, who sees the invisible scars you bear alone
When you can't cry tears in your own home
Clouds collide and take control
But I swear I mean no harm,
I just need someone who unconditionally loves

I knew I should have kept hating you
I knew I shouldn't have let you in
If I had kept my icy walls up,
These memories wouldn't be piercing my heart,
Drawing blood and leaving scars

The stove tops warm
The chattering of dinner conversation fill the air
We would talk about our day, or something funny that we found

Sometimes our hands would smell like newspaper ink
from an article you shared
Or you would make fun of the chubby catfish in the tank

The food warms our hearts, no restaurant could compare
The softness of the rice reminds me of the softness of your heart
The vegetables remind me of your love
The meat and tofu remind me to stay strong
and that you are someone I can rely on

Friends may come and go
And all of us grow old
But your laughter at the dinner table
Is something my heart will always know

Cutting ties, losing trust
Repair the damage, do what I must
Rule my kingdom, focus on me
Try to find little things that make me happy

Don't let anyone else in
Or you will be broken again
Become cold, build my wall of stone

I'm just here sitting on my throne
And dancing all alone
Conquer the difficult lands
And turn my enemies' bones to sand
Turn pain into power
Work Tirelessly every hour
The gain pretty much stops the pain...

But I don't wanna admit it
I only stay happy for a bit
It's hard ruling a kingdom on your own
Because it gets quite lonely on this throne

I remember...
The excitement and nerves in the air
As the stage lights come on and we prepare
The sparkle of our pants shines when we are met with cheers
While we welcome 2020 the new year
Our dragon and lions dance to the drums
Our cymbals and gongs beckon people to come
We lift each other up to the stars
Just like the family that we are

I remember…  
Hearing children’s laughter
And getting ice cream after
Goofing off with friends backstage
Oblivious of the fact that this was our last page

Who knew that we had taken our final bow?
There are only pictures and videos of us now.
If I had known that this is the last time the spotlights die
I would have said a heartfelt goodbye
But all that’s left is the bittersweet taste
Of the memories left on our stage