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We are e(i)ther
On top of the world
Or pi(c)king up the pieces
There is no inbetween
No sh(a)des of grey
O(n)ly black or white
Only euphoric or broken
(T)hey say you should
Love deep(l)y
Or n(o)t at all
But i(s) it possible
To lov(e) someone too much?
I'm not sure of an(y)thing
All I kn(o)w is
I don't think I'll be able to
S(u)rvive
If my already fissured heart
Cracks clean in two(.)
Written in November 2014.
I wish I had known you when you were alive,
when your heart was still beating and your skin was flush.
I wish I had known your will to survive when your thoughts weren't in such a rush.

I wish I had met you back when we were young,
before all these trials of life...
I wish we had cried all our tears to the ground and evicted the whole of our strife.

Never, no never, did I ever think
that I'd bury a friend like you.
But clever, so clever, those poisonous barbs that split both our hearts in two.

I loved you so deeply, though you were so cold
I was fooled by the warmth of a lie.
Naked and blinded I gave you the knife
and lifted my eyes to the sky.

Now I've stumbled through darkness and stretched for a hand, wishing sometimes I could die.
While loneliness dances across my heart, suppressing my urge to cry.

I wish I had known you when you were alive,
when your heart was still beating and your skin was flush.
I wish I had known that I'd lose such a friend in a sparring that I couldn't crush.

I wish I had met you back when we were young,
before all these trials of life...
I wish we had cried all our tears to the ground and evicted the whole of our strife.

Never. No never.
Did I ever think that I'd bury a friend like you.....

But clever, so clever, those poisonous barbs that split both our hearts in two.
A stranger has come
To share my room in the house not right in the head,
                    A girl mad as birds

Bolting the night of the door with her arm her plume.
                    Strait in the mazed bed
She deludes the heaven-proof house with entering clouds

Yet she deludes with walking the nightmarish room,
                    At large as the dead,
Or rides the imagined oceans of the male wards.

                    She has come possessed
Who admits the delusive light through the bouncing wall,
                    Possessed by the skies

She sleeps in the narrow trough yet she walks the dust
                    Yet raves at her will
On the madhouse boards worn thin by my walking tears.

And taken by light in her arms at long and dear last
                    I may without fail
Suffer the first vision that set fire to the stars.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
 Dec 2013 Joel Martinez
bs
new
 Dec 2013 Joel Martinez
bs
new
Hello I'm new it's nice to see you.

I've been feeling a little blue so I've come to meet you.

I hear you are all so happy how is this so?

Where I come from the sadness fills you up and continues to grow leaving much room for lust and distrust.

The more I come the less I go.

I think it's time I must be heading back home.

But before I go listen so, happiness is a treasure and one you should respect with grace forever.  

Some take it for granted but once you go without you'll know just what I'm talking about.

So sing with cheer and love with meaning and be sincere for all has meaning.
you have all the answers
inside of you
but you cannot cure yourself
alone.
you must open your candle palm,
twist the tip, look up at the sun and say,
“do you have a light?”
you must let go of your fear
of being abandoned
and in the warm glow of the cold moon,
ask yourself what you want.
you must find someone who understands you
so you can pull the remaining strands of courage
out of your head and say,
“here. this is my offering.”
do not stay alone.
you are not stranded.
open up, be a little less afraid,
show them your insides.
your bones are not satan’s prey.
find a moment in each day to appreciate
what you have done for yourself,
abandon your hope of ever being perfect.
you have all the answers
inside of you,
but you cannot cure yourself alone.
i was like Icarus once.
my wings are still growing back.
i was Persephone in my moments of disillusionment.
it is hard to come back from the underworld once you fall
into it, like a mousetrap.
traps teach you a lot about the incredible resilience
of the body.
bodies teach you a lot about the magnetic brilliance
of the soul.
i am a Phoenix rising from the ash every time i tell you,
“I love you.”
i am reborn every time i shut
my eyes and open them,
again.
i started out this morning
determined to remember the things i forgot
and those things in my life
that I could not
turn off the bitter cold
that resides within the hot
that's how I started out this morning
to remember the things I forgot

as the day progresses
i travel to where it is i've been
stepped into the revolving door
and revolved around again
back out on the inside
where it all began
that's how the day progresses
look at where i've been

as evening participates
bringing with it a knowing surprise
so as not to give it away
i close my one open eye
living for this moment
like a man who has just died
that's how my evening participates
is anyone surprised

this day has been a wonder
as i wonder where i'm at
counting on my fingers
to see what i have left
as i slide through this life
leaving out what has been said
this day has been a wonder
as i wonder where i'm at

— The End —