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Last night I dreamt
my grandma was substitute teaching
in the classroom next to mine.

My grandma,
who died in 2009,
is sitting behind the teacher’s desk.
She smiles as I walk in and announce,
“Hey everyone! This is my grandma!”

My grandma,
who first started teaching
in a one-room country school,
is wearing a pastel cardigan
that feels both soft and stiff
as I hug her thin shoulders.

Over the chatter and laughter of students,
I tell her,
“If anyone gives you any trouble,
send them to see me.”

She replies only
with a knowing look
from behind the large lenses
of her plastic-framed bifocals.

A look
that tells me
she can handle herself.

© 2025 Joan Zaruba. All rights reserved.
This poem is about a real dream I had featuring my grandma, who I miss very much.  She had a subtle strength that I appreciate and admire more the older I get.
Hills, trees, rocks, cold waves
A city wrapped in the wild
Duluth, steel and heart
I spent a few days in Duluth, MN and wanted to challenge myself to capture its essence in a simple three 5/7/5 syllable lines.
Joan Zaruba May 4
I need truth & light,
not lies & fights.
Emotional security,
not shame &  anxiety.
I need love that’s true.
Sometimes ‘Hello Me’
is pronounced ‘Goodbye You.’

Not every promise is golden.
Sometimes, vows need to be broken.
Leaving was brave,
given how you behaved.
Not every ending is unhappy.
Sometimes ‘Goodbye You’
means ‘Hello Me.’

I’d rather be single
than a married martyr.
I’d rather laugh & mingle
than keep on trying harder.
I need something new.
Sometimes ‘Hello Me’
is pronounced ‘Goodbye You.’

I choose my mental health
over double-income wealth
Wellness over weakness,
happiness over secrets,
freedom over familiarity.
Sometimes ‘Goodbye You’
means ‘Hello Me.’

© 2025 Joan Zaruba. All rights reserved.
I played around with the order of these stanzas a lot before finally settling on this order.  I also debated the title.  At first I called it "Sometimes" but I worried it weakened the declarations of self-discovery within the poem.  Does the flow work for you as a reader? How about the title?
Joan Zaruba May 2
Your family hates me for leaving you
They don’t know
I would have died had I stayed
Even a cactus can die of thirst

© 2025 Joan Zaruba. All rights reserved.
These lines came to me this morning while grieving the loss of ex-family.  Despite the pain of being misunderstood by those who used to call my daughter and sister, I have no regrets about choosing my wellbeing over martyrdom.
Joan Zaruba Apr 29
jagged little tooth
protruding from the roof

of my mouth, unseen
by all but me

inside it hangs
a secret fang

hidden by my smiles
my feminine wiles

reminding me
unbeknownst to you
that I can bite
draw blood
if I need to

Do I need to?

© 2025 Joan Zaruba. All rights reserved.
Inspired by reality, improved by metaphor.
Joan Zaruba Apr 27
Inside the shadows of my mind
I search
and reach
and try to find

I kneel
And dig
And scratch the black
Aching for direction
An answer back

What buried treasure will I find
What happiness
Motivation
Peace of mind?

Is there really any reason to be found?
What’s it all even for?
Maybe it’s just darkness
And dirt
And nothing more

© 2025 Joan Zaruba. All rights reserved.
I wrote this poem in 2013 to express the despair I was feeling.  I am so happy to no longer feel as though I'm fruitlessly digging in the dark! My heart goes out to anyone who is currently feeling this way. Please know, it gets better.
Joan Zaruba Apr 24
When I speak with confidence
I hold my head up high
I look ‘em in the eye

When I speak with confidence
I no longer feel small
I am ten feet tall

When I speak with confidence
I stay calm and kind
I say what’s on my mind

When I speak with confidence
I stake my claim
And invite others to do the same

© 2025 Joan Zaruba. All rights reserved.
I wrote this last night at a Women's Empowerment Group.  The  journaling prompt was to finish the following sentence:  When I speak with confidence.
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