I need to open myself up and throw
away  all  of  this  stuff  inside me
that  tastes  l i k e  leftover  milk
and rotting   t o m a t o e s.   I
stupidly   let    out    all   the
f e a t h e r s  and sunlight
you've   been   sneaking
into  me for the  p a s t
year and I want them
back  I  want  them
back I want them
back  I    w a n t
them   back   I
want   t h e m
back I  want
you   back.

play me that song
that you wrote long ago

that you thought I forgot
but every word I still know

sing it to me till I fall fast asleep
let it be the last memory of you that I'll keep.


*s.mndi

Hearts pounding,
Minds racing,
Skin touching,
Eyes meeting.

Love blooming,
Hands holding,
Smiles shining,
Cheeks blushing.

Blush fading,
Smiles falling,
Hands slipping,
Love losing.

Eyes dripping,
Skin yearning,
Minds screaming,
Hearts dying.

New beginnings,
Hated endings,
Wanted loving,
Dreaded leaving.

Unpredicted,
But still okay.
Your lost lover
Will fade away.

Everything I've ever told you about me has been a warning.
I tried to cool down your warmth.
Please don't smile at me again.
I can't make you understand how much it's worth.

Everything I feel about you is way too intense.
I want to explain it,
but it doesn't make any sense.

Anything you say gets repeated infinitely
to leave me swimming in a pool of memories,
but my arms are tired and now I'm drowning.
The thought of you takes the breath out of me.

I'm caving in underneath the weight of what it means.
These are the kinds of things I've tried to stop myself from feeling.

Everything I've ever said to you has been a warning.
Every single one of them has gone ignored.
Please don't smile at me again.
I can't handle loving you any more.

I keep having wacky dreams
followed by false awakenings in which
I'm telling the people who were featured in them about
the things that I've been dreaming
and then I wake up for real and realize
that no one's even listening.