I don't know
Which is uglier
Your jealousy or pride
I grew too closely
Then you changed
Like the seasons
And I drifted
With the tide

© JL Smith

Dig deeper--
For the answers you seek
Require travel farther beneath
An ambiguous surface
Along a foundation of strength
Tracing the tips of my roots
Is where you'll discover
My soul, my truth

© JL Smith

Unapologetically
I am becoming myself
No longer resisting
The impulse

To speak my mind
To write veraciously
To stand alone

Confidently
I am embracing myself
No longer doubting
The belief

I am capable
I am influential
I am resilient

Patiently
I am forgiving myself
No longer burdening
The guilt

Of disappointment
Of pride
Of anger

Wholeheartedly
I am loving myself
No longer surrendering
My need

For peace
For grace
For miracles

© JL Smith

I fell in love
You fell in lust
I broke your plans
You broke my trust

© JL Smith

You're like a
Bad habit,
A fever I can't break

Like a
Natural disaster,
Devastating earthquake

You're
Yesterday's promise
Today's heartache

And I expect you
To give,
But all you do is take

© JL Smith

No fruits from the trees
Nor honey from bees
No meat from the livestock
Nor dairy's finest cheese
Could satisfy my appetite
For I crave a love too sweet
Fulfilling this hunger
Savoring each heartbeat

© JL Smith

When tears caress my cheekbones
It's rarely for my sake
This heart of mine empathizes immeasurably
For when another endures pain

My voice may not soothe
My written words unlikely to mend,
But my silent presence offers
Peace and prayer
Until your healing begins

© JL Smith

A fire burns within
Each flame igniting desires
For a passion I must pursue
Broiling my blood, searing every fiber

I once questioned why it chose me
Tried to fend it off for good,
But birth dealt me as a dreamer
Persistent imagination into adulthood

These words consist of power
Its control bestowed upon the unique
The responsibility of my talent
To share what others sincerely seek

Commitment and dedication
Discipline and sleepless nights
Believing in something bigger
Triumphant against all plights

As strength endures heartache
And my will to succeed prevails
My words shield me from naysayers
Because not everyone understand what my path entails

© JL Smith

Maybe in those moments
When you're reminded of me
Your heart strongly feels mine
Longing for the love I need

© JL Smith

The happiest ever after
I've found
Is falling in love with yourself

© JL Smith

I'm not swayed by your status
Nor your wealth or crown,
While your nose is held high among the court
I've curtsied for comedy in the corner--
Your jester, my clown

© JL Smith

Where are you?

I read about you in books
And watched you on the silver screen
Society places considerable emphasis
On you sweeping me off my feet

Who are you?

Someone labeled, "Super"
Dressed in boots and a cape?
Or a dubious author
Shredding manuscripts you create?

No matter--

The fairy tale's a myth
No perfect prince charming or princess
Just a worn heart-on-her-sleeve lover
Searching for The One who will accept her mess

© JL Smith

With these hands
I've written stories
I've penned my secrets
And shared my glory

With these hands
I've assisted my friend
I've patted his back
And made amends

With these hands
I've lifted a child
I've caressed her face
And witnessed a smile

With these hands
I've earned my keep
I've labored long hours
And rested my feet

With these hands
I've held you tightly
I've loved you gently
And given politely

With these hands
I've dried my tears
I've bandaged my wounds
And conquered my fears

With these hands
I've prayed to our Creator
I've thanked Him for this gift
And a Love that's greater

© JL Smith

I love you in ways
You could never fathom
Beyond doubt,
Past what any creator can imagine

I love you as passionately
As the pianist plays his keys
And as devoted as the sinner
Prays upon his knees

I loved you before I knew
The depth of your heart
As the sailor sets to sea
Placing faith in his chart

I'll love you as long as the sun
Rises in the East
And remain as loyal as the moon
Commits waves along the beach

© JL Smith

My half of the world's fast asleep
Both hands stretch to twelve in a reach
And as their minds fill with dreams,
I fill paper
With the spilling of my blood and ink

© JL Smith

What you ask for
I promise I'd try to give
But all I've known
Are patterns of brokenness
I'm not willing to relive

I've heard it before,
"I'll never turn my back"
But all I've known
Are watching the ones I've loved
Leave before they fully unpack

I cling to your words
I'm fascinated, I'll admit
But all I've known
Are promises spun from lies
Absent of action, no one who commits

And yet, I promised I'd try
Here I go, up I climb
Even though all I've known
Are heartaches and blows
I'll attempt to trust, one last time

© JL Smith

As the glue grasps the shards
And the splint heals the bone
Your love mends my heart's pieces
Repairing what's broken by thrown stones

© JL Smith

Seven billion people
Seven billion faces
Scattered across our globe
Composed of beautiful races
Some rough around the edges
Others smooth as velvet,
But when pieced together
Form a puzzle if we solve it
From first glance, you look different
And what's unknown instills fear,
But my heart knows better
For all of humanity bleeds a red so sincere

© JL Smith

I diverged
From the foreseen path most follow--
The route adhered to avert one's fears
Instead, I boldly strayed into the uncharted
Inquiring answers to what ifs and the unclear

© JL Smith

My head lowers
And you lift my chin
Doubt festers
As you take me in

Concealed struggle
Catastrophic tailspin
But your belief in me
May help this end

© JL Smith

By definition, you're a stranger
But from my gut, I'd risk the chance
To sit beside you
Get to know you
Hear your story
Fall under trance
You say my words are magnets,
But your own attracted me
To ask for answers
Seek your truth
Reveal my secrets
So effortlessly

© JL Smith

You said it hurts,
But it cuts me deeper
I yearned for you to say it
Yet here I am, still playing mind reader

My brain's shut down
While my heart continues bleeding
Echoes of our love
Linger on while I'm grieving

© JL Smith

When the love you seek
Cannot be found
And the Heavens above
Draw your knees to the ground

You will find what you sought
Within your own arms
Place your hand over your heart--
This gift is His art

An abundance of love lies within
To witness its marvel, you first must give
In time, you'll discover it's enough
And that's when a heart seeking yours shows up

© JL Smith

I woke before the sun,
But if I'm honest, I never slept
I knew I'd dream those nightmares
Of the secrets that I've kept

So, I confess

I sense when you're behind me
As I turn and lock your stare
Or how my insides go crazy
When your laughter fills the air

I act as if it chills my bones,
But you possess the warmest touch
Others grow weary of discussion
Yet, I crave your words so much

Distance draws an ache
I try to feel you near
The clock becomes my nemesis
Time is closing, I fear

I'd get homesick as a child
Inside different walls I felt alone,
But now it's not a house I miss
It's your heart I've called my home

© JL Smith

I sincerely miss
Giving the top of your head
A kiss
When you appear in my dreams
On nights like this

© JL Smith

Your voice shakes,
But speak loudly
Your hands hesitate,
Though write proudly
Your thoughts linger,
So, ask profoundly
Your feet wander,
Seek devoutly
Your spirit differs,
Embrace oddity
Your heart aches
Yet, love constantly

© JL Smith

As my type whispers
Yes, as it softly speaks
Through emphasis of pressed ink
It reveals my secrets,
Desires and fears
Listen with your heart
Rather than your ears

© JL Smith

They'll think I'm crazy for this,
But I'm certain they already do
You're not here yet,
But I'm confident someday in the future
The world sure is gonna welcome you

You'll be bright
A shining star
With a head full of curls
Always setting the bar

You'll be kind
Looking out for others
With a smile
Patient, like a Southerner

You'll be humble
A skilled listener
With arms open
For any visitor

You'll be witty
Eliciting laughter from many
With joy as your purpose
And remarkably friendly

You'll be loving
Deeply, so deeply
With a heart
Crafted ever uniquely

You're not here yet,
But someday we'll meet
For now, you'll remain in my heart
As I count its beats

Until I witness these words
Of all that you'll be
I know of their truth
Because you'll inherit them from me

© JL Smith

Loves casts a shadow
Through your glance
While concealing its confession
Behind lips
Fleetingly blinding my world
As the moon masks the sun
By eclipse

© JL Smith

Who could ever understand a heart like mine?
What a mess, what a maze, what a caged bird awaiting flight

And yet a few relate, those who take the time
Comprised of patience, generosity, compassion and sunshine

Most may call them strangers, but I know them as friends
Each expressing emotions and moving mountains through pen

Your humble hearts hurt more than most,
And your vulnerability often leaves you exposed

But promise me you'll never stray from your truth
Because I'm more confident today
Knowing pieces of my heart reside also within you

© JL Smith

Crashing waves
Compose uncertainty
Within the walls of my heart
Until your Love
Walks the waters
Calming tsunamis
As doubt departs

© JL Smith

And when she tells you,
Tells you she's wild
You laugh and then contemplate
How she's compiled

Reserved in appearance
Occasional demeanor, too
As you seek a sign
To reveal a divergent view

But most won't notice
What's sacred to discover
She's disciplined beyond measure
Yet, an untamed lover

© JL Smith

After traveling the winding roads
Lit by a crescent moon
Kissed by the crisp breeze
Your kindness welcomed me
Like warm rays from the sun
And sweet honey from the comb of bees

© JL Smith

Today was your birthday
I didn't forget
Your first in four years without me
How was it spent?

Maybe that's why
You've crept back into my mind
Our birthdays, so close
The only part of us intertwined

I don't think of you as often
I guess that's how I know
I'm moving on
And I'm letting go

As much as I hurt
And as much as I learned
As much as I hated
My heart remains concerned

In time, I'll forgive
But for now, I'll heal
Happy birthday to you
A heart I once could feel

© JL Smith

Knock on my door
After the sun sets
When the world goes dark
Before I regret

Grab my hand
Lead me into the unknown
Caress my cheek
Your lips on my collarbone

Force my memories to fade
The ones you know well
Speak truths to me
Our secret, I won't tell

© JL Smith

May I ask you a favor?
Join me for a walk
I won't steal too much time
Or demand you to talk

I'll lead if you follow
Just don't question my aim
Mysteries concealed within
Consist of heartache and pain

These streets buzz loudly,
But your presence bears peace
We're almost there, I promise
Around this corner, a few more feet

Enter this doorway
We're taking the stairs
I forgot to mention, you needed sneakers
A comfortable pair

Too late, up we go
Breath is heavy at the top
Your heart pulsing, a little frustrated
A dead end as we stop

I unlatch the bolt
And we walk through the door
Onto a roof under the night sky
Stars lighting our dance floor

You sing and I twirl
As we draw closer to the ledge
Peeking over onto the city
Down below, a world outstretched

And out of nowhere, it happens
I scream into the air
You stare at me baffled,
But I've released all worry and care

I glance at you and smile
You laugh and shake your head
Then climb onto the rim
And yell until your face turns red

That's all I wanted
It's what we need
To take a stroll, scream a little
Spend life in good company

© JL Smith

Don't lie to yourself
To appease the impostor
Break formation
Rearrange your posture

You're handed a rule book
Embedded tradition
Expected performance
But not your audition

Reject their measure
Conclude your own
Never accept majority
If you can't condone

© JL Smith

It's 12:27 a.m.
And my postman's fast asleep
As I should be,
But I lie awake while you're also
Counting sheep

This distance between us
Cements my eyes to a map
Questioning the miles
Upon miles
Worth a hitchhike
And knapsack

For now, I'll write you poetry
Stamp and seal it
With a kiss
Until my mail carrier arrives
To deliver these words
Of how much you're missed

© JL Smith

Every cloud
Has a silver lining,
But Love,
You struck my heart
Just like lightning

© JL Smith

It's a writer's forbidden question
Because as poets we must speak truth,
But tonight you asked it purposely
And suddenly my voice went mute

What am I afraid of?
My answer's loaded, but I won't lie
Others may tell you heights and darkness
While some exclaim they're scared to die

As for myself
I've looked death in the eye
I'm not as afraid of it
As I am telling those I love goodbye

My body trembles in fear
When losing a parent comes to mind
It becomes difficult to swallow
Realizing life grants us such little time

And as I age
It's not poverty or debt
Or rejection I dread,
But a life others might soon forget

For my purpose is grand
I believe in myself and stand confidently by this
While I'm meant to inspire others
My greatest fear is regret of an opportunity missed

© JL Smith

It's 1:43 a.m. as I sit here and wonder
If you're awake, asleep
Or in between where we dream
It's times like this when I think of you
Question if you think of me, too

Has your heart been broken?
Are your dreams coming true?
Is life everything you wished for?
If not, do you continue following through?

I know, it's crazy
I wouldn't recognize your face
And yet, I feel we're connected
Just need the right time and place

We're guided by Above
You face your trials, while I face mine
I pray you're somewhere out there
And when we're ready
We'll find each other
In due time

© JL Smith

I must have erased this
A hundred times
The truth is
I feared loneliness
As it peaked at bedtime

Someone once spent a fortune
Of time on me
Implanting ideas
I'd amount to nothing
"Just wait and see"
I wasn't worthy of love
Something out of my reach
I worked myself to the bone
To earn nothing
Of what was promised or preached
And one day Someone left,
But I've managed to survive
While those poisonous thoughts
Continued to eat me alive

Time does pass
As wounds heal slowly
My loved ones remind me to laugh
And look after me closely
I'm grateful for them
And for guidance from Above
I can fall asleep peacefully
Knowing I am loved

I'm confident
Someone wouldn't recognize me now
I'm stronger, wiser, less lonely
But I don't question how

For you see, the answer's obvious
Granting me tenacity of a fighter
All along, my strength's been within
Loving myself through words on a typewriter

© JL Smith

You're holding me back,
You're holding me back!
To see the world, I desire
Yet, you control and conspire

Foreshadowing a future full of regret
If I comply with your reasoning;
Instilling doubt and anxiety
Comparing me to society

I'm breaking your grasp,
I'm breaking your grasp!
To hell with you, Fear
I'm moving forward
Abandoning you to my past

© JL Smith

Droplets
Wept
Through
Grayscale
Skies
Promise
Rainbows
Drying
Eye­s

© JL Smith

Like anchors drowning in the sea
Eyelids are heavy
Dreams beckon me
I resist, I contest
As I lay by your side
Mutual surrender
As we drift with the tide

© JL Smith

You caught your reflection
And told yourself a lie
"I love myself," you said
But you disbelieved inside

You made others laugh
Depicted a world full of joy
"I'm happy," you exclaimed
All part of your ploy

You didn't want to face it
Denial of your past
"I've moved on," you swore
Oh, how your demons had massed

You rebuked my offer for help
Instead you chose me as your pawn
"I'm all you need," you promised
As the naive trusts the conn

You allured me from the start
I fell hard, you stopped short
Those three words to you mean nothing
Pray my heart is the last you distort

© JL Smith

At times my memory fails
Yet, your words remain clear
It's ironic how you doubted my writing
Never gave it much thought or adhered

You attempted to break my spirit,
But instead, fueled this fire
You planned to bury me in your dust,
And here I am, sprouting higher

All it took--a little confidence
Commitment to my words
A belief in these syllables
Faith in a few strong verbs

I conjure feelings
I share stories
I bleed truth
I give glory

My poetry reveals this heart
You disrespected both,
But some day you will see
How I now touch the lives of strangers I call friends
And through these words,
They believe more than you did--
They've accepted me

© JL Smith

I've forgotten
The kiss upon my lips
The way to let go and be held
I've forgotten
To accept unconditional love,
But I'm hopeful I'll remember how

© JL Smith

I take my time
Stand behind the others
Listen before I speak
Then confront what they run from

You can tell me what to do,
But I'll learn my own way
I'm as hard-headed as they come
Whatever's forced turns me away

I won't duplicate the norm
I create what others can't
My ideas are abnormally structured,
But come alive through my two hands

Too many think the same
And so the world continues to circle
Yet, I question if it can change
As I dedicate my existence to its reversal

© JL Smith

I never knew strength until it's all I had left
Stripped of everyone and everything; a victim of theft

I never knew strength until I was visited by death
Pleaded with God until His hand helped me catch my breath

I never knew strength until I faced myself
Staring in the mirror, buried by emotions I felt

I never knew strength until I chose to move on
Acknowledging my future is brighter now that you're gone

I never knew strength until I loved thyself
Standing firm in my convictions while accepting help

I've witnessed my strength; I no longer doubt
But in time I'll learn, I'm capable of much more inside and out

© JL Smith