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Jennifer Weiss Dec 2015
It is so very strange.
To no longer be in love with you.
At least, I think I am not...
but then again,
why does it make so melancholy
to see you with another...
WHY is it such a...******?
Why does it rob me of clever words?
I know there is fullness of life without you.
But when I think about you....
Its like the same symbolism and meaning
I find in the birds.
and it scares me...
the not knowing
The hoping.
The believing.
It starts to feel as though I am deceiving
myself.
Wishing myself into believing God gave
me a
promise
Am I honest?
I miss you still.
Yet....
I wouldn't want you
as you are.
This part is true.

I guess that solves that....
God is faithful in His promises,
just make sure they are His.
Jennifer Weiss Dec 2015
Since I'm being melancholy
instead of doing what I should.
I'll write about all
the things I would tell you
if I still could.

You remind me of a musical.
One that I sing long after
the curtain has closed.
One full of heartbreak.
One full of everything that makes
a great show.
And you are all the characters.
The ones I love...
the ones I hate.
And I can never quite get over you,
I watch you over and over
staying up way too late.

But there are some days I don't sing your songs.
I find other melodies.
I carry on.

But one day eventually,
before too long...
maybe the show hasn't played in quite some time.
Or I have forgotten the words to a song.
I will sing of you once more.
Bathing myself in your music.
And I'm past the point of losing it
I just linger there, I guess.
Like your hand around my shoulders,
my head on your chest.

And if it feels too much,
I can always disengage.
But I wonder...sometimes...
do you even know the music
of my play?
I 'd know what to sing.
Jennifer Weiss Nov 2015
This is a laying down of arms.
As I lift my limbs in surrender,
I pray that I would cease with self-harm.
That these tendencies and patterns,
that have become so deep rooted
would be eviscerated and scattered,
I know this is the Lord's doing...

to renew my mind
To give me a new heart.
To make the most of my time.
I feel a leaf turning gently,
I feel an embracing of the tides.
I want nothing without you.
I can even welcome pain.
You are my life, Jesus.
Without you, nothing is gain.
I surrender
You can live your life as if it's a constant chore
**Come to Peace and live so much more!

Enjoy every frown
   Every sigh of those in stress
Because they are perplexed
Remember that Life is a mission your on
  Stay in focus of where you belong!
Only you know the truth in your heart to be true,
    Yet still,
Our Father is always with you

Acts 20:24 However I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
Jennifer Weiss Nov 2015
There are so many dreams I've yet to share.
So many lives, I might never live.
So many times, I said it wasn't fair,
but then again...what really is?
I have nothing left to lose.
And everything to give.
I want nothing more than all the world.
Whatever that really is.
Dreams are never really what they seem. I think I am ok with that now.
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