'Was built a wall of loneliness
The blocks were made of hopelessness
No door, no gate, no openings
A moat within the inner ring
The sides sloped down to emptiness

'Was kept away the happiness
With salty tears so copious
The songbirds cried and took to wing
'Was built a wall of loneliness

The sky lay down in weariness
Grey clouds did tire of dreariness
So steep the walls no vine could cling
So cold the wall kept out the spring
All hearts cried out in brokenness
'Was built a wall of loneliness.

r ~ 26Mar14

She wanted him
to turn around
just to see his eyes
to uncover his truth
to discover his lies
the last snapshot
the last good-bye
a flickering screen/their lost gold
her faded dream
to have and to hold
just walked out
the lights dim, and it's fade to black
the curtain drops
they can't rewind/they can't go back
their lost hopes/their lost years
she wanted him
to turn around
she wanted him
to wipe her tears.

Staring back at me in the mirror
Dry weary eyes and high cheek bones that pair with a long and narrow head that headbands always despise

Skin and bones
Blood and nerves
Blue eyes and glasses
Brown and curly hair

Scars tell the stories of her past
A rock when she was four
Her grandmother's iron when she was six
The rickety banister
The church pews
The sticky track she was fifteen
Anything can leave a scar
Just some scars are more noticeable than others

But it's not just the scars-it's the calluses and bruises
The birth marks and the wrinkles
Her nails that will never stop peeling
Her calluses from bearing the hopes and dreams upon her shoulders
Her ****** noses from a softball or the cold thin air

When she walks you can see her muscles tensing
You can see the bruises on her shins-they're glaring reminders of her past
Her poise is not perfect but neither is her teeth, hair, face, skin
Its her imperfections that make her perfect

Her way of making people smile when they're down
She always finds something to complain about even though she tries so hard not to
Interruption is part of her daily struggle-inside her brain and out
Her work ethic could be a little better but she scrapes by
Her brothers can tell you she despises being late and she can be a bit bossy
The worry lines on her forehead tell you that she's tossing a question around and around her head trying to look at it in all angles before making up her mind

She also cries and wants someone to tell her she is beautiful over and over again
But when she needs to hear it most, her love might forget to tell her

She is always cautious of this-she doesn't want to give herself to someone who will break all of her hopes and dreams inside her heart in one foul swoop
but she tends to daydream about her wedding

What will her dress look like
Who will her bridesmaids be
Who will  her husband be
Who will she dance with
She knows she can't dance and she wonders what her father daughter dance will be like
Will it be like when she was little dancing on his toes?

College is always on her mind and when it isn't, her parents are always reminding her
Ask your sister about the SAT
Memorize your vocab
Don't forget about the AP U.S. history exam
You have to start now
Make sure you read the history textbook
Work harder
You will have to study new material since your teachers aren't adequate
Your math grade needs to go up
Why aren't you studying?
Why didn't you start this over the weekend?
You need to work if you want to get into a good college

When I look at this girl in the mirror and I slowly realize that she is me
I raise my grubby hand to touch my smooth face to double check

Her throat is tight
She can't speak
She can't breathe

I want to tell her that it will be alright
Your friends will stick with you
You will get into your dream college and you will find a husband and live happily ever after

But I can't see the future

I stare at this girl who loves her friends
Who loves to run so fast she forgets to breathe
Who tries so hard to pay attention in class when all she wants to do is scribble poems in the margins of her notes
Who bites her lip when she does something wrong or gets nervous
Who blushes at all the memories when she's gone against the grian

And I want to tell her that she will turn out alright

But I can't

let bleed
like the morning dew
upon uncovered feet
spreading through the warm morning air
the sleeping flowers
seeking to obtain the last remnants
of an empty kiss
placed upon their lips
before the sun returns to the sky
and the peaceful wake of sleep
can no longer remain

I starved myself
for 45 hours
am I skinny yet?
I covered myself
with cuts so
people would look
deeper than
my skin and
see the real me
am I pretty yet?

The indigo sky,
Crowns my lose black hair.
It gives depth,
To the perfectly lined kohl
In my gaze less eyes.
I silently listen,
To some soft country music.
Playing far above the grey pavements,
For ritualistic evening walkers.
The day now peacefully ends,
With the emptiness,
One usually comprehends.
The cold floor gets bewitched,
By the lonely streetlights.
Who skillfully spread a sheet
Of scarlet lustre.
The bequeathing stillness,
Accompanies my sadness.
To offer it,
A pound of love.
I wipe a tear,
Which aces along my cheek.
To see a couple of puppies
Playing the nostalgic hide and seek.
Their coats are black,
Unlike the sky today.
Which has dressed up in a different hue,
More towards a dark, ultramarine blue.
My skin now starts reflecting,
The grotesque shapes of the ground.
It has lost its warmth,
And so has my heart's independence.
To the alluring beauty of this evening,
To the wondrous colours of its being.
I find solace,
In the piercing air.
I find peace,
Under an unexpected snare.
For only with these beliefs,
Can our fragile lives bare..
The hammering of our tender hearts.
The weakening of our unstable minds.
The grace of our hopeless faith
The love of our broken state.
Strength and valor,
Come from within.
All you have to do is embrace them,
For the world requires your boldness,
For then only can it taste,
Its never ending sweetness.
With this I end my day,
In the hope to find more courage,
For if a speck of it,
Can create miracles.

Why not befriend it?