Jade Lima

Jade Lima Oct 2019

I’m sorry I ever had the wits to call you people the masquerade

Life is misconstrued because no one feels like staying in their own shoes.
I don’t even care that I don’t know what to do because life is nothing but a blackened hue.
So as I hope to see streams of red come streaming from your eyes, as I sit there and wait to witness your merciless demise.
Too bad I’m not strong enough for those twists and ties. I’d mutilate you to hell for all of your petty lies.
So as I hope all of you burn, I’ll try to remember a time where life itself had any sort of worth.
You say you’re elite, but this is one sided.
Maybe it’s not only me whose blinded.
But when life is just a contorted mess, to get whatever you see “fit” not caring about the rest.
I would gladly tear my insides out of my chest.
But I’ll never Rest In Peace until I rip your organs to shreds.

Jade Lima Oct 2019

Rot

Snaking you’re way into my being.
Pretending to be my friend why the **** are people so deceiving.
I’m not gunna waste my time grieving, all I want is to focus on leaving.
I’m not me and I want to gauge out their eyes.
Nail their eye sockets shut for bringing on my untimely demise.
So why don’t they stop hiding behind their misconstrued disguise?
I would hack your skull to pieces but there’s not enough time.
So as I hope they get the karma for the things they do, I’ll try not to suffer in these horrendous shoes.
I’d rip out your tongue so there’s no more lies.
But I can’t cause these people enough pain.
So get the **** away from me and rot starting from your insides.

Jade Lima Oct 2019

Drop dead

Trapped in this vessel, the people here are crude.
I’m lost in their sequence and my being is so misconstrued.
So what’s with their belligerent hate filled alliance?
It doesn’t matter what’s said cause they’ll always deny it.
So as I count down my days to my brutal demise. I’ll hope their fate and their lies get lost in time.
I don’t understand how people can be so sick.
I want no part in this charade, but I hope they all drop dead.

Jade Lima Oct 2019

Time

As time runs out, I guess there’s less doubt.
If I could I’d stay. But it seems there’s no other way.
So as I reminisce of the better days with faces who ended up growing cold. I won’t take to heart that I didn’t have another to hold.
So as I drift through the blurring days, I’ll try to be happy and not think about the end of my days.

Jade Lima Oct 2019

Charade

My being was ripped from inside my bones.
What was locked inside this vessel?
It’s not yours but no one will let me breathe.
So why can’t you see that you made yourself me?
There’s nothing sane about this never ending charade.
I was always to weak to play.
And I’m trapped in this sequence that gets more contorted by the day.
There’s no other way, the selfish hearts never give those they prey on any salvation of a better day.
So why take someone apart to fix your own heart?
What’s left of my soul?
I don’t have it in my hold and it’s only a matter of time until death takes its toll.
Forced to be a puppet for everyone’s blinded hate.
I can’t escape because this despicable mess will be the end of my days.
And nothing will ever matter because this was their way.

Oct 2019

atticus wilson

Depressed

“Why are you alive”
“You don’t deserve this”
“They would be better off without you”
“Leave and don’t come back”
“Push everyone away”

Oct 2019

Raven

Me

No food
No sleep
I can't let these things reach out and speak sweet lies
I can't let food call my name
I can't let sleep drown my thoughts

I shouldn't eat
I can't sleep

This is me

I am broken girl
Who can't eat
In fear I weigh too much

I am a broken girl who can't sleep
For my thoughts and memories
Haunt me too much

I am a broken girl who answers 'how are you?'
With 'I'm alright' even when I'm not even close
Because I don't want you to worry
I don't want you to fret
Over a broken soul

I am a broken girl who says 'I have been busy'
when someone asks me why I haven't done something
I have been busy just not in the way they think
I have been busy trying not to give into hunger
I have been busy fixating on how I'm broken
I have been busy
But not in the way they think

I am a broken girl who has let her demons
creep up on her too much

I am a broken girl who has surrendered
her soul

I am a broken girl who dates so she feels
worth something because I don't when I'm alone

I date because I need to depend on someone
Because I am not dependable for anyone
Let alone myself

I date so I can hear someone say I love you
So I can hear someone call me beautiful
Cute
Amazing
And so many other things
Even if I don't believe it

I am a broken girl who has lost so many relationships
Five to death
And so many others just because they left
I was no longer good enough
No longer happy enough
No longer
PRETENDING

I am a broken girl who pretends
And when I stop people leave

Because I am too broken

I am too clingy

I am too demanding

I'm just not enough

Or I'm too much

THIS IS ME

But no one sees
Until I let them

And when I do they worry

But please don't worry
Because you didn't when you didn't know
So why worry now?

I'm still the same me
You just couldn't see all the flaws that my eyes do

You don't see the way I do

I see a girl who's eyes are too big

I see a girl who isn't thin enough

I see a girl who's hair doesn't suit her no matter what

I see a girl with too many scars

I see a girl
But I don't

For all I can see now is a walking flaw

And no one knows that
THIS IS ME

April/ 19/ 2018/ 10:19 AM

#broken #invisible #worthless #depressed #lost #faded