All that’s left are twisted morbid thoughts.
I guess their plan worked, so what’s left of the plot?
If only the good had a chance to rise.
Maybe then there wouldn’t be mostly lies.
I can’t say I turned out fine.
I’m so ******* scattered and I want to die.
So as I keep living until they decide my time is up.
I'm so sick of everyone and all of their bluffs.
so i guess I’ll try to be whatever part of me that’s left.
As I try not to think about whatever is going to happen next.

A life of deceit,
What a condescending feat.
I’m left crippled, deaf and blind.
Where does anyone have left to hide?
I found my way out of their disguise.
But now I’m running out of time.
I’m still searching for the real version of me.
But I’m lost in this mess and it’s hard to see.
So what’s left of their plan?
They’re becoming so predictable so I guess I know where I stand.
Cold and alone and lost at sea.
Whoever I was, they corrupted and buried, and thrown away the key.
So am I really being myself?
Their trick is so planned out and I feel mostly doubt.
why is the world so cruel?
I’ve burned myself out, I have no more fuel.
So in what feels like the end for me,
I’ll try to keep a smile on and focus on keeping my sanity.

When your whole existence is some sick charade, you get so ******* tired of the games they play.
Sometimes it gets better, but they never let you be okay.
Why does my life have to be a masquerade?
It seems everyone ends up being a renegade.

So how do I get up and try to feel something that’s mine?
I never knew it was so easy to run out of time.
So why am I always fearing my demise?
I guess it’s because for most of my life I’ve been mostly blind.

Friendly faces all around with ulterior motives.
All of this feels more or less erosive.
And I’m so far gone that I could care less about closeness.
The mess of my existence feels like a deep depth of the ocean.

So as I continue moving closer to the end.
I’ll stop hoping for a godsend.
Even though this mess was never truly only mine,
I’ll keep trying to make better use of my time.
While I keep trying to just feel.
Because there’s no way in hell I have it in me to fully heal.

Sometimes an ounce of hope shines through.
And it gives me the strength to want to continue.
But I always find out it’s just a hoax.
Will my demise come from the noose in the rope?

Always worrying about my demise.
I guess I’ve always known that there’s never enough time.
Will I ever get to witness the beauty of the world shine?
It’s all such a dark mess and I’m never truly fine.

So what’s left in the unfolding chapters of my life?
Is there hope to turn the page? Or will I continue to live a life filled with strife?

So I guess now all I can do is try to move past this.
Even though the last few months have been in remiss.
So as I try not to let their hate consume my being.
I’ll try not to spend all of my time grieving.

The days are getting longer as I’m dragging my lifeless corpse around.
What’s left in this chaos? Will there ever be a change in the sound?
I guess it’s not as bad as I think, but this petty tragedy is getting old.
**** what I would give to get back all of my soul.
The pit keeps getting deeper with illusions of getting out.
I’ve had it with this **** but I’m starting to have less doubt.
So where do I go to try to find some relief?
I’m filling up with hate and not to mention grief.
What’s the point in moving forward when I’m always being pushed back?
They’re ******* everything out of me, how do I gain what I lack?
Will I ever get it back?
So as I try to muster up any will to live I have left.
I’ll try to appreciate more the heart beating in my chest.

When you've lost most hope to go on.
And it's mostly senseless to be strong.
How do you find it in you to grow?
And most people around feel like foes.
What do you have left in your heart?
When all your life has come to is falling apart.
I wish i could move on and find somewhere to have a new start.

These days i've been trying to turn the page.
But everything stays more or less the same.
My life feels like a masquerade.
With friendly faces having alternate meaning.
My mind is so clouded i'm having trouble seeing.
How did everything come to this?
Everything is more or less in remiss.
I know my conscience isn't clean either.
But everything is happening in such a negative demeanour.

So how do i fix the mess of my life?
I guess i'm in too deep cause i can't even turn to the knife.
But i don't want to try anymore i can't take this it's breaking me down.
It's been happening so long and i still can't get used to the sound.
Of all the the chaos that never fails to find it's way back.
Was it ever me that i lost? Do i deserve to gain what i lack?
So as i try to fix the mess of my heart mind and soul.
I'll hope life doesn't take the final toll.
Of ending my already meaningless life.
I wish i could just find my way out and get rid of all of this strife.
As i keep working towards trying to live a better life.