When you've lost most hope to go on.
And it's mostly senseless to be strong.
How do you find it in you to grow?
And most people around feel like foes.
What do you have left in your heart?
When all your life has come to is falling apart.
I wish i could move on and find somewhere to have a new start.

These days i've been trying to turn the page.
But everything stays more or less the same.
My life feels like a masquerade.
With friendly faces having alternate meaning.
My mind is so clouded i'm having trouble seeing.
How did everything come to this?
Everything is more or less in remiss.
I know my conscience isn't clean either.
But everything is happening in such a negative demeanour.

So how do i fix the mess of my life?
I guess i'm in too deep cause i can't even turn to the knife.
But i don't want to try anymore i can't take this it's breaking me down.
It's been happening so long and i still can't get used to the sound.
Of all the the chaos that never fails to find it's way back.
Was it ever me that i lost? Do i deserve to gain what i lack?
So as i try to fix the mess of my heart mind and soul.
I'll hope life doesn't take the final toll.
Of ending my already meaningless life.
I wish i could just find my way out and get rid of all of this strife.
As i keep working towards trying to live a better life.

When everything seems to be crashing down.
And your soul is just being dragged around.
Can what’s lost ever be found?
I know there’s no way in hell I could ever get used to the sound.
So what do I do to pick myself up off the ground?

My eyes are starting to fill up with hate.
With the fact that these bends are showing through my merciless fate.
I just wish I could find a way to escape.
Find some meaning and not be trapped in this place.

So until I’ve finally reached my end.
Through pills or blades or some unspeakable end.
I’ll try to find some good in the world.
Cause there’s no hope for something good to ever unfurl.
I’m just a damaged lost and broken girl.
Who always thought there was more beauty in the world.

Another day getting dragged through the dirt.
I guess this is life, but somehow it doesn't really hurt.
The masquerade is plotting against me.
And i've lost most hope to finding a key.
I'm struggling to get out of this pit.
And i'm running out of places to sit.
So where do i go to change the plot?
I guess this game is more complicated than i thought.
I guess i don't feel all that distraught.
But my mind, body and soul have gone through enough to want out.
Even if i am filled with mostly doubt.
I guess sooner or later i'll need to decipher a new route.
So in these passing days i'll try to be happy.
And try not to fade away as i bring myself to safety.

Always trying to find my way out,
I'm finding that there is starting to be less doubt.
I can't say that i'm finding much clarity.
But how much more air do i get to breathe?
I can't say anyone will ever want me back.
It's far too much that i lack.
So why am i always dreaming of a better place?
Sometimes i guess i have a smile on my face.
But everyone in my life always seems to leave.
Or maybe it's the way in which i perceive,
The patterns of life, maybe it's abstract.
Maybe before i run out of time i'll be able to gain my life back.
So in these passing days i'll continue trying to dream.
And make my reality feel better than it seems.

All of these stories are flowing, how could it ever get boring?
I'm feeling like i can't see any of this me enduring.
But how will i stop the worry?
I don't know who to turn to, so where do i find some new shoes?
Maybe i can find it in me to figure out all of these clues.
If only i had it in me to grow, i wouldn't mind feeling mostly sorrow.
And maybe it's not that fact that i don't, i just have too much hope.
These feelings are fleeting and i've been stuck on mending.
It may not be worse than i think but i'm so done with pretending.
That these games are all that it seems, but i know that they're not.
Looking at the motions i'm far from distraught.
So where am i headed now with my eyes strung with hope?
I'm ready to start trying harder and not tie the noose around my throat.
But everything changes so far from what i had in mind,
I feel like i'm doing mostly nothing but wasting precious time.
So in these passing days i'll try to give all that i've got.
And try in the meantime feel less than distraught.

Stumbling past all of life's bends.
I don't know where i'm headed i don't know if i've begun to mend.
Sometimes you need to create your own weather.
And maybe sometimes it's best to bring a sweater.
But no matter what gets thrown onto your path.
You have in you some potential to last.
So fight like hell to get out of their grasp.
And try not to make this breath your last.

When you've lost your voice, and end up with no choice,
How do you make anything better?
I guess i should stop treating everyone as just a letter.
But when you have trouble deciphering the mess.
It's hard to figure out if there's any of yourself that you have left.
So what do i do to win back what was locked away in my chest?
I guess i should start to make my escape.
Even though i'm more or less of a disgrace.
So in the days to come i'll try to appreciate the rising sun.
And try to think less of all the questionable things i've done.