Just the other day,
Was it Tuesday?
Or maybe Wednesday?
I was told that I
'Have the most beautiful smile'
I forced a small laugh,
told her thank you
and walked away.
. . .
I believe now,
that she is unaware,
one smiles with their eyes,
with an opened upturned mouth,
one hides behind lies,
installs false meaning
unto others.
. . .
My teeth are straight,
and my face twists and turns,
in all the right places
but my eyes,
my radiant, distant,
frightened, faraway eyes
they're a dead give away.
. . .
With the secrets they hold
and the fears they can't hide,
had she shifted her gaze unto mine,
maybe then I'd have been told,
that I,
'Have the most beautiful eyes'

Today's child is told,
"Go to school then work 'til you're old."

Today's parent is given,
Technological wonders, to prevent them from living.

My child instead,
Will grow up with a brain in his head.
For I as a parent will not
allow society to make my mind and spirit rot.

I will teach my children of Love and Respect,
Of and for God, and all people, no matter what tongue nor sect.

They will know of the Lamb who was slain,
and the Love that poured forth, so rich, none could explain.

My child will be told,
"This life is a precious gift that must be pure and true,
though fear not the times of filth and lies,
for through the blood of our savior, Jesus Christ,
eternally, you shall walk on streets of gold."

They roll off my tongue without a thought.
The words feel right as they cross my lips.
They're so familiar, so simple, so right, so wrong.
Those three little words burn in my mind,
With them comes only questions and doubts.

I use them carelessly and they cause pain.
I use them with sincerity and they cause false hope.
I refrain from them completely and they cause confusion.

As a child I 'd heard them time and time again.
I never knew their true meaning,
Not until I said them to you.

That day changed my life, the words changed me too.
I no longer needed to search, there was nothing left to find.
I'd found everything I needed.
I found you.

Soon I found myself using the words over and over.
I wasn't careless, however.
I was carefree.

The words were returned, I heard them said with truth.
The words were always there.
They comforted, they healed, they gave me peace.

I didn't know when things changed,
But eventually the words were nothing more than that, words.
They weren't mine alone.
You shared them without me knowing.

You couldn't hide it any longer,
You confessed to me, you told me what I needed to hear.
You said the words to him weren't real,
Not like when you said them to me.

You said you're sorry and then I heard the words again.
This time the words hadn't danced out of you,
The fell to their knees and wept.

I believed you.
I was too afraid not to trust you.
I should have stayed strong and listened to my instinct.

Time passed, the pain was almost completely gone.
My heart was healing and I let you back in.
You took advantage of my weakness and struck again.

I realize now those three little words had always been his.
I shouldn't have let this carry on.
I lied to myself, saying it wasn't true, those words were mine.

When I'd finally been hurt beyond hurt,
After my heart was shattered to pieces time after time,
I decided it wouldn't happen again.

That's when you realized something too.
After all this time, he never returned the words.
You were used like you used me.
And this time, I'd walk away.

I wasn't coming back.
I left you there to drown in your own mistakes.
Hopefully you would learn from them.
Maybe you could change, but I wasn't waiting to find out.

I swept up the dust that was all that was left of my heart.
I guard it now, in an urn kept away in a safe.
The combination you will never know.

Just remember, after all you put me through,
Each and every time I spoke those three little words to you,
I meant them.
And a very small piece of me still does whisper the words:
I love you.