Og jeg hader hvordan du:
Taler om dig selv og er så selvglad
Hvordan du ikke lytter til mig og ser væk
Hvordan dine øjne altid er et andet sted
End i nuet
Dine sarkastiske bemærkninger
På den måde dit hår sidder så perfekt
Trangen til at slå dig
Til at rive dig
I stykker
1000 stykker
Se dig falde sammen
Men
Jeg elsker når du ser på mig
Smiler, siger
Du er så dejlig
Så kan alt andet

være ligegyldigt

Jeg har altid hadet hospitaler.
Hospitaler med deres hvide vægge.
Lægerne med deres hvide kitler.
Glassene med de hvide piller.
Sengene med det hvide betræk.
Og for engangskyld hadede jeg månen. Så klam og hvid. Så pisse irriterende hvid og rund.
-*** var ret hvid.
Ikke på den klamme og irriterende måde, men på en måde, der lyste i mørke. Som en gadelygte midt i nattens ingenting. En gadelygte, der lyste både dag og nat.
Pludselig slukkede den.
*** fortalte mig, at tidlige aftener bliver til morgener sent.
Mine hvide fingre strøg gennem hendes bølgede hår.
*** kiggede på mig med hendes lysende øjne. Jeg kiggede tilbage.
*** smilede.
Jeg tog fat i elefanten og gav den til hende. *** klemte den helt ind til sig, og en grå tåre faldt fra hendes hvide kind.

*f.b

.I mørket hvor hundene miaver og kattene gør

der vandrer en mand, og en kvinde i slør

siger intet, som kun generte tør

alting har ændret ingenting, så alt er som før

nattens gule øjne og dødbringende klør

de/den kradser sig gennem realiteten på en søvnig chauffør

Den nat beviser, at det kun er de hellige der dør.

*f.b

tell me that you do not love me with tears streaming down my cheeks; tell me that you do not want me anymore, but tell me that i am your pretty baby; that i am the prettiest one that your hands had ever touched; that i made you crumble; that i brought you the chills whenever you laid your eyes upon me; that i set your soul on fire every time you kissed my salty skin; that your friends got lost in my web of burning lies. i do not deserve you. you always treated me good. you brought me sparkling drinks in daylight and picked out colourful summer dresses for me for your mothers 60th birthday. she did not want me to come but you brought me anyway like a smitten kitten and you purred like one when you filled my empty stomach with toxic love and bubbles of laughter. you were too kind; you covered me in soft feathers and tickled my cheeks with your eyelashes, oh, your so black eyelashes. i was never good enough; you were too good for me. you made me hate myself whenever you were not around; every time i was all by myself i begged to be killed. i looked for orange pills in my medicine locker; the one i never told you about. the pills made me happy; they took me to heaven and made me cry. i wanted to cry, i wanted to be unborn like the thoughts of yesterday. why did you love me, i want you to disappear. you ruined my life, i love you beyond measure. why did you not leave me unconscious on the dance floor; i belong on the dance floor. i want to dance all night, all night long on my own. i want to drink my sparkling drinks, i want my glitter dresses back, i want loud music and fake laughter and charming men with rich fathers and lightbulbs of firework on the darkened sky. i want my heaven; i need to swallow the bottle of orange pills because i want you to disappear. i need you to disappear, but please do not leave me. i am the one who decides to leave. please, understand; i love you. oh, darling, i love you so. tell me that you do not love me with $100 mascara running down my cheeks. tell me that you do not want me anymore. you deserve someone who is not me. tell me that i am your pretty baby; that i am the prettiest one that you have ever loved.

*(k.w)

you graduated
but didn't move
didn't work
didn't study
just stayed behind
in your hometown.

that's the hardest part about
staying
when everyone else left
the world doesn't care
what you think
or how you feel.

you're in the queue
at the store
getting flashbacks
then you see a youngster
paying at the other till
it's like seeing yourself
from two years ago
and all of a sudden,
you miss everyone.