I followed you out of the picture,
our subtle breakdowns, anti-matter,
too drunk to function, too vibrant to sleep.

The tables were numbered when we sat to eat,
uniform plates, revolving staff, doors open
to the public, red wine on tap.

I met you in the bathroom, venetian white,
***** on your sleeve, tears in your eyes,
love on your tongue – an emptied stomach.

I know I can poison you with words,
stop your taste for wine with a kiss.

I followed you to the open grounds,
pollen thick in my lungs, the wind ate sound,
removing all history: you and me, you and me.

The fountain turned copper with generosity,
faded queen, bottle-cap fraud; crowds took us
to alleyways, to your opened front door.

I met you in the kitchen, synthetic white,
heart on your sleeve, *** in your eyes,
tongue upon tongue – truth amongst lies.

I know I can save you from endless distraction,
this need for a fiction; this want for an action.

The more i refuse to think

The less I feel

And somedays the feels aren’t important

But somedays I realize it isn’t organic anymore

That I’ve lost the ability to be

Catharsis is not unreal

Ennui can be vital

I am a contradiction of feelings

Because feelings don’t have continuity

They pass moment to moment

And it’s alright if you don’t catch them immediately

Pray for me

Because I don’t believe

Have faith in me

I don’t know how the feelings flow

I don’t know when it will hit me

I don’t know because I’m not in her shoes

When she finally took them off to jump

And gravity had it’s natural effect

I don’t know what that feels like

And I wish they were still alive to tell me they wish they hadn’t