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 May 2017 Ironatmosphere
Monotone
Spiraling deeper
and deeper
and deeper
into an exquisite
sorrowful grave
filled with agonizing
misery because
I miss the memories
we made and
the traditions we
started and the
way we knew
our way around
each others
protective
fortress walls
 May 2017 Ironatmosphere
III
I just woke up
in the beginning of the evening

And suddenly became aware
that before this moment I was not aware.

And everything I did
and everything I said
I did without control,

And it feels as though today was lie,
this week was a sham,
this year has been false,
and my life is slipping away

Because I feel myself sinking in again
and I feel my fingers drifting away from my mind,
and it's starting again
and oh God please help me
I want to live
I want to live
I want to live


But here I go, down the muddy hole again.
I love you like clocks
breaking their arms
on my bed,
trying to stop time
from making me forget
what you looked like.
The night unravelling,
caught in the moment of the earth's
dance on its tilt

when it's just as day
as it is the night; like light
appearing behind shut eyelids

who am I to trust
when the earth turns and dreams
turn into daytime reveries

will I wake up and forget
or will your elbow slide off the table
and break the spell?

This time is a perfidious lover,
so tell me,
whose side is it on

tonight?
Perfidious: deceitful.
 Oct 2016 Ironatmosphere
-
Untitled
 Oct 2016 Ironatmosphere
-
at 18, she fell in love. the kind of love that moved mountains and swam seas. he made her write about relationships, mutual ones like the flowers and the bees

*at 21, she started writing tragedies.
 Oct 2016 Ironatmosphere
k
Is it possible to be jealous of the future?
Of the people you will meet
that will make your dimples grow deeper?
Of the places you will see without me,
the pieces of pizza you will eat?
Of the new shoes you will pick out
and the dinner party you wear them to?
Of the girl you meet there,
who's laugh you'll like so much
that you'll forget about mine?
Of the dinners you cook
and the hikes you go on.
The adventures you'll have,
the drives, the movies,
the nights spent asleep,
the kisses?
The kisses.
my hands would like to thank your hands
for the time we were drunk out of our minds
but your hands knew enough
to hold, not grab
to hold, not push
to hold,
and hold on.

my hands would like to thank your hands
for being constants, not variables.
for having a thermostat so perfect,
holding hands is like entering
a fire-warmed cabin
after a snowstorm -
and you’re the only light around for miles.

but most importantly,
my hands
would like to thank your hands
for keeping other things from my hands;
things that shouldn’t be found in hands,
like the last cigarette
or a sharp pointy object -

and the last time
it was desperation that
got the better of me;

and not your hands.
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