there are different types of crying
each of us has at least one or two
and from my point of view
the most used is the one without tears,
when the soul cries loud and everything in the body hurts.
and there is another one that goes hand in hand with rain
you're between droplets, crying and nobody can see the tears.

That night changed my life,
That night I lost something precious,
That night I stole something valuable from my true love,
That night I lost a childhood friend,
That night I earned a new enemy,
That night my perspective changed,
That night I had to grow up,
That night I learned the power of my words,
That night I learned the power of lack of words,
That night I discovered how the world really is,
That night I became ready to leave the home
That night numerous rumors began,
That night I began my regret,
That night I began to understand,
That night can't be changed,
So why should I worry about it so much??

It all seemed so perfect from the beginning,
My first love since the move,
But slowly I began to realize my mistake,
Control,
That's all he wanted,
After telling me how things had to be,
He returned to his sweet and charming self,
I am a giving person,
He exploited that,
Everything,
I did everything for him,
With nothing in return but his company,
He used me,
Controlled me,
Came close to abusing me,
But I just couldn't leave,
Every time I came close,
He ran after me crying,
Explaining how he'd change for me,
For us,
If I had only known it was a lie the first time I tried to leave,
I simply could not bare to leave him,
Standing there,
In the cold,
Crying like a toddler,
He was so weak,
I thought I could help him,
If only I knew I was powerless against him,
If only I knew he wouldn't stop,
I had always been attracted to the "bad boys,"
If only I really knew how bad he really was,
How much pain and suffering he'd put me through,
If I knew then what I know now,
I never would have said hello to him on those stairs,
I never would have been looking for another guy,
I would have talked to my love sooner,
I would never have gone to his room,
Some of my regrets and horrid secrets lie within that room,
That room of his,
I had to return one last time to collect my things,
He had to stop me,
He had to win me back,
It was different this time,
This time I wasn't giving in to him,
This time I was strong,
Now I am strong for my love,
But now I must decide my true feeling over him,
And my feeling over what happened with him,
I just hope I can be that strong again...

To be truly me.
I must be completely free,
I just need time to think,
Because I only seem to sink,
I can't seem to let go of the past,
I can't continue that if we are to last,
You are the moon and stars to me,
I can not just wait and see,
I must hurry and learn,
To become the one you truly deserve,
You can not wait forever,
So I have to truly sever,
These horrid feeling inside,
To bury it deep within to hide,
Or shall I face them with my lack of pride,
This decision can not change with the tide,
I must make this decision and stand,
Or I may truly lose my man,
Do I really regret my past,
Or do I stand by it to last,
He deserves a real answer soon,
Otherwise I will feel lies while we spoon,
I can not continue to hide,
My feelings that are deep inside,
They must be revealed,
Or my sad fate will be sealed,
The time has come to see,
Do I truly want to be free...