Do you ever wish to put so much energy into something worthwhile only to be shot down before you can prove yourself?

A chance at love,
to prove your worth,
to show them how much you care,
how much time and energy you are willing to contribute,

All the cards on the table to move forward,
simply rejected since there is already love,
too bad it is for someone else,

Now, all this energy has nowhere to go,
fighting for a place in the world but no one to receive it,
fighting to come out and show someone special you will put your all into something real,

This energy turns into sadness and anger,
why isn't it enough,
what did it do to earn this rejection,

I want you in my life but I can't watch you love another,
I am not strong enough,
this energy is no longer pushing me forward to show you my pure intentions,
but pulling me back toward the abyss of loneliness and frustration.
My only flaw is not being her.

I hope she loves your smile,
I hope she loves your eyes,
I hope she loves your style,

I hope she loves them like I wish I could.

I hope she enjoys
random adventures,
learning new things,
laying in bed all day,

I hope she values
your intelligence,
your caring heart,
your drive for passion,

I hope she loves you like I wish I could.

I hope she understands
your time is precious,
love is beautiful,
you deserve something genuine,

I hope she
is everything you're looking for,
listens to understand,
is there for you through thick and thin,

I hope she is all that I wish I could be for you.

I hope you are beyond happy.
I hope you feel wanted.
I hope you feel loved.

You deserve love, even if it can't be from me.

I wish I could love you like she should.

Ready,
For the next step,
For the next move,
For the next thing,

Ready
For a new home,
For a new city,
For a new job,


Ready,
For a new love,
For a new life,
For a new chance,

Ready,
For my soul mate,
For our marriage,
For our baby,

Ready,
But I can't rush it,
I can't force it
I can't make it happen

Ready,
I have to be patient,
even if that is difficult,
even if that is not what I want

I am ready,
Now I just wait...

As I look back,
I see...
my innocence.
I see how nieve I was.

I thought I knew heartbreak.
I thought I knew love.

It wasn't until I found love,
my first real love.
Now I know.
Pain.
Loneliness.
Depression.
Anxiety.
Now I know.

It is because of him
that I now know the power of love.

Love is the most amazing thing of all.
The pain comes from losing it and/or trying to find it.

Find love in everything you do.
For if you do,
you are truly living.

Timing,
it is everything.
The time I met you,
nothing seemed right,
except us.
But we could not be.
You are happy with her.
That is respectable,
but we wanted each other.
We just couldn't.
Now I can't get you out of my head.
You said if timing was better,
we could be together.
But timing isn't better.
Our timing *****,
but does it?
Everything happens for a reason.
Is our story just beginning,
or was it over before it started?

Now as I sit and think of you,
I resist the urge to pursue you,
Because you deserve better.
She makes you happy.

I just want to be happy.

Timing,
it is everything,
but you can make it your own,
but should I?

I lost it all,
then I fought to get it back,
I fought to fill the void,
fought to find love again,
fought to save my heart,
fought to feel safe, secure, happy,
fought to take the easy route,
I crashed so hard,
head first into the ground,
I fought until it burned,
it burns so bad,
I can't fight this way anymore,
can't be tough like this anymore,
I have to change my fight,
have to fight through the pain,
fight through being alone,
fighting is all I can do,
at least now I know the proper fight.