She opened her eyes
Staring in the ceilling of solitude
No jobs, No bills
Waiting for the time to come
But will it ever?

She does her bath
And attended her gyms
Eats in the cafeteria
Of the misdemeanors

She has the hand of Hermes
Good for pickpocketing and handicrafts
In her other time she has
A shadow she becomes doing tricks and trades
Pro you can say in cards, she had a lot of time to practice

Just like that her youth wasted
An act of atrocity
Leading to an ended road

She sure has a lot of time
But yet running out of
Only what she can do now is remorse

She has freedom
But yet leashed
Only what she can do now is behave

Sometimes
A freedom inside is not a freedom outside
Only then you realize what value freedom has
When you dont possess it

Trust takes time to build
Like a pile of a 20 meter bricks
But if you throw your betrayal at it
You will watch it fall
It may stack up again
Only this time it's 15 meters shorter

A true artist
Uses experience as it's greatest ink

Alongside with it's color of emotions

I'd fly to the highest sky
Dive to the deepest sea
Just to stray away from cages

But no matter how high or how deep i would go

Chains will always hold me

The chain of anxiety will always drain every ounce of my confidence

The chain of sadness kills what's happy inside me

The chain of depression whispers darkness around me

The chain of confusion doubts the real person within me

And the chain that will forever hold me, the chain of existential crisis

These chains that hold me will drag me to my cage.
The prison i created for me, locks a small voice deep inside me.

And it will never be free unless i have the courage to weld the key

Would you say I'd be happy if i pick my own choices?
Would you say I'd be happy if i walk my own road?
You would, wouldnt You?
Then why is it that the lane i travel feels alone?

When the oceans rise
And thunders roar

I will soar with you
Above the storm

Father you are king
Over the flood

I will be still
Know you are God

There are things that i really want
That is out of reach
I've felt it too many times
Times where i got desperate
Many times that i learned
To be excited to those people who got what i wanted
Cause watching them experiencing it, just somewhat feels good

Twinkle twinkle little star
You're my wonder, yes you are
In our world you are afar
But in my heart is where you are

Im Jack, you're Jill went up the hill
Where i confessed my secret
Jack was down and he was sad
Cause jack, he got rejected

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
Feeling all lonely, like jack in his fall
All of his trustees and all of his friends
Tried to help him but failed in the end

As Incy Wincy Spider
Climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain
And washed his effort out
Out came the sun
That dried out all his tears
The one who's heart is broken
Went down and cried again

I lost you
And finding you
Is like getting back to all i suffered
But in the end
I found something
Me.

And Somehow that was all i ever wanted.
It was everything

A true king in any world
Leads not by forcing others to bow before him
But by inspiring others to stand with him

And so i searched
Through jungles and cave

I've traveled with creatures
Found treasure i dont need

Im scorching these lands
With madness im filled

Be threats or be dreadful
Im sure to do it all

With all these clues
Im close to you

I've heard all stories about that brute
A witch like him
Will face beheading

I mix, i brew all potions there is
All kinds of death, and misery not bliss

I solve all complex
With drops, i flex

But all for you
A love potion can fix

The consuelas will pay
All of them will pay!

My vengeance will come
The time is nigh

Free! Free! Free!
Free me from this sorcery!

A voice inside me
Is now all i can be

I was once free
Like a bird in a tree

Now i am caged
I can never go flee

Oh my Julio love
Someone got me

A beast in heart
Twice a beast from outside

I know in my heart we bind
Find me cause
I am trap in my own mind

What is this enchantment
An enchanted Love

Try to break free
Of that undying Love

Horses and ruins
Im with my whole life

What is the potion
To stop those felt lies

Im no one
But still
Im the one who you loved

Ill try to save you
Even it'll cost my whole life

Princess Consuela
Just wait i will come

Here is Julio Garret,
Will free you
From that odd, brute man

Drip drip drip
Falling into the glass's space
Filling up bodies with it's very strong taste
Washing everyone's physical state

Perhaps not only it

Could drain one's mental state
Forgetting problems all of a sudden
Is it's very fine effect

Feeling like all of things float
Numbing all the aches we loath
What a water like this exist

A kind that I'm forbidden to drink

All red
All vengeance

All hatred
All misery

It keeps the flame
In color and character

But you stared
With your ocean eyes

Calming the beast inside me
Now's a new chapter

A red from blue
An anger from love
A blue flame, born from with-in

....I could hold your hands
Hug you
Have conversations with you

....I could go out with you
Kiss you
Have amazing moments with you

....Those are the things we can do and
....I can thank the stars for it

Have i ever written a message
With much doubts and erases?
Yes i have.
The feeling of thinking in advance
To what impacts it might give
Thoughts unwinded
In a midst of expressing something
Like writing one step forward with 2 steps backward
Fearing every verses
Clearing every noise
Just to concentrate
In making the right note
And right tone
To impress
To express
To channel
Every thoughts that you thought reached perfection
In the end
You composed
The imperfectly message
After a hundred and 3 scratches

Im out of ink
Im out of battery
And i cannot write one poetry
Atleast after this

Twas my last color of hope
Twas my last energy of will
One can say recharge
One can say reprint

But what is passion
Without the captain's certainty
What is passion
When one gives up about its own

Nothing

A poet is nothing without poetry
But poetry are nothing without readers
Which means
Mines are nothing

i saw it and i watched it
the stars did it, the stars wrote it

the stars above wrote out destiny
the destiny of not having each other

a dark deadly poison
created by desperation
fooled by the minds illusions
caused by the greatest delusions
anger once peace
filled with blood
and catastrophic events
a brute, once a man
paid the debt of a life time
the heart once whole
now buried together with it's pieces
those pieces were seeds
of a man's becoming
watered by every teardrops
caused by his one and only sadness
a decision who he thought could repair
an action out of despair
in the end it was a mistake of an unforgiving consequences
once a blind, now wide awake
and all he can see are regrets of tommorow

I saw a star
A wishing star
It was far but i reached it
I grabbed it and caged it
I forced out the light, the magic, the tales hidden behind it
A wish to be captive, only then i can be stopped
A wish for the healing
A wish for the best
A wish for this desperation to stop
only then i can rest
Only then i can sleep

I saw a star
It was quite far
Falling from the sky
With it's blinding light form afar

As tasteless as the words may seem
Just put some sweet compliments in it
Dash some bitter poetry with it
To get that bitter-sweet talks to it

Savor every letters
As read back and forth
Be filled with it's extensive use
And relish every spoken truths

Sprinkle a lot of emotions
And spread those feelings widely
That will surely give a kick,
A taste
A punch
A spice of one's spoken poetry

As we were facing the coldest winter
I had the warmest heart

Another season of winter has come

Now, mine's as cold as the season

Passed through creeks
Journeyed the mountains
Conguered the heights
Found me a star
Where ever the destination
Will always be homeward bound

Swords, surrendered
Will, outpowered
Questions? Unanswered
Purpose? Lost

I have fallen for you
I have...
I have fallen for a lie

I had a dream
It could have been a nightmare
To anyone who might care

I yander
I ponder
To your mind
Full of wonder

I hate you! For holding my hands!
I hate you! For the tender kisses!
I hate you! For whispering me promises
I hate you! For reaching my core
For stealing my heart!
For convincing me with sweet lies!
For gazing through my innocent eyes!

I've never been hurt this way,
This much
This time
Of all my entire life

I hate you!
I loved you!
I..... still love you.....

And so i sneaked
To the garden of promises


Hearing the restless winds
Shout every moment witnessed
The stolen touch of our lips
The hidden moments of our actions

All the times i ponder in the garden
Was reasoned with love and happiness
The memories of sweet talks
And endless nights

But now, this time
The sun finally rises
All the promises were drifted
As the coldest wind
Touch the heart of once loved

The siren were loud
But stubborn was i
I never listened

So the consequences
Left by stupidity
Will be faced with guilt and regret

Once happy
Now in despair


And so i left
To the so called "garden of promises"

Paint me
Paint my pain
Paint it all away

Brush them all
And let this sorrow go away

Use them colors
Any kinds and brands you desire

Just paint me
Paint my pain
Paint and cover it all the way

Three dots
Corresponding to what im about to say
...
...
...
...
I actually have nothing to say
Bye.

Sometimes, i wonder
Which star could you be
Then i looked at you
And realized
You are actually my star.

Sometimes
A one's fragrance
And
A one's presence
Is what we need
To get to start working again

A radiant
A beauty
A passion
For the many

Shine me blessing
With the reflection
Of everlasting

As i lay in the solid ground
The black angel whispered
The words are murmured
My tear drops waiting it's last

I've seen beauty in the light
Healed the pain i have longed suffer
That was the lightest
My soul has ever felt

My breath was running
And i was catching it's presence
I was getting tired of drinking
These winds of life

Then i have reminisced these frames
Decorated with such joy and moments
So i whispered to the angel
Bring me back to where my destiny's rooted

I like stars and moon
I like planets and universe
I like rocks and stardust
I like universe and the cosmo
Most importantly i like you
Because i created all those
When im with you

I have written you something
Except its not finish yet
There's this thing in the tip of my tounge
I can't spit it out and paint it for you
The words are easy to be said
Only if you dont mean it
My heart speaks for the truth
And the words are the I LOVE YOU
The reason why i cant write it for you
Is because you dont want me to

All the stars that i see brightly
Outshine me almost everday
Giving me shades
Turning me to gray
I only shine the brightest
When im in my shamest
Anger filled my bottles
Locking my wings away
Shadow my old friend
Here i go again

I am tired
Im exhausted and i want to give up
I dont want to feel like im masked by layers and layers of insecurities
I dont want to pretend that im always ok
Im tired

I feel like i just want to cry but i cant
I think this is what happens when you pretend too much
You wont be able to feel normal things that you're  supposed to feel
Why does it has to come this way

Im scared to soar
Im too frightened to fly
I dont even talk to my friends very closely anymore
I dont even want to walk around the neighbour
I just dont have the confidence anymore

Everynight i think about my self
It kills me inside knowing how things have change
And knowing im not the same person anymore
It just gives me anxiety and depression

I want real friends
I want a bestfriend
I want a friend that i can share with
A friend that i can be honest with
And a friend who can accept me for who i am

I need a friend who i can confidently show the real me without layers of mask and pretentions

Is like a pearl
Precious yet can be dark and beauty
Filled with depth and mystery

A little piece of advice
Dont pull the trigger
Before you shot someone
and its too late

Rain or Shine
Ill shower love with mine
To bloom you like rose
And dancing petals will rose