why does my happiness depend on you
why is it so difficult to make myself happy
but so easy for others around me to make me happy

and you're oblivious to it all

your mind is like the ocean
a constant wave of emotion
for a second it was a storm of hate crashing out
now it is a calm tide of love surfacing about

beneath the tides lie countless wrecks
like memories resting inside my head
I thought I'd forgotten
placed them deep below
but they surface from time to time
trying to stay afloat  

my mind has a never ending complexity
I own it - yet struggle to control it
it is drowning in emotion
it is struggling to keep afloat

but for now I will bathe in the undisputed unknown

like a whisper
i hear it calling me
inviting me
it waits for me

another single soul
out there in oblivion

one day we will meet
one day we will fall in love

up in the sky
like a distant bird
up so high
so unheard
the clouds pass by
one by one
I'm high oh so high in the sky

I lose my breath                                  
I lose my air
insufficient oxygen
in my lungs

I am binded to the solid ground
trapping me to an endless void

the smoke rises
carelessly coating my lungs
swiftly shattering my nerves
immediately swallowing my thoughts

I abandon myself
I breathe it in
silently it intoxicates me

its power has no limits
it is beyond my comprehension

however
my heart struggles
it is damaging my soul
but I am helpless
my conscience is locked into my mind
the keys have gone
the lonely stars are my only onlookers
i help myself in this infinite emptiness
starlight pierces into my dark perplexed eyes
smoke still blinding my senses

I wish to see the glimmer of the stars
not the blinding light
I have consciously made them become  
I want to see the world
I want to breathe
I want to be free
for the smoke to lift
for everything to return to focus