I have found peaceful sleep on concrete floors
Where my desires have been needs
And had restless nights on feather soft beds
Where dreams of wants have piled with greed
They ask how people become mad
And I tell them
Look, like this
By doing business with dreams

A quiet field of snow
untouched,
unburdened -
I leap through it,
leaving large footprints
and nullifying the stillness
which had graced the field before me.
Luckily,
there is always more grace
to be found in nature;
and so I plod onwards,
my stride slow and heavy,
but joyful as it finds
and matches the tracks
of the moose and ptarmigan
who frolic through this valley.

There is, after all,
an answer to the meaning of life
and love and joy.
And it lies in the valley of snow before me
for all the world to bear witness to.

The moon is such a beautiful sight during the winter night
though I seem to cry in these cold months
I know everything will be alright
it's my comforting white lie.

Stop...

And go back, to the moment where time wound forward.
Where fallen leaves return to trees and my broken mind becomes mended.

Go back...

To the days where fear would cower and invincibility possessed the throne of thought
Where youth prevailed.

Rewind...
To the time where the dependence of three legs buckles under the independence of two
Where first words formed replace last words spoken.


Come back...
To the world where leaves have fallen,
Where color has taken its own and has bled into grey.
where youth has betrayed us and old age has greeted.
To the days where the purpose of bone has been replaced by the stability of wood.

The monitor has changed its tempo...
I lay here as breath begins to fade and memories of lost faces gather.
I stop for the last time
To imagine a world where the reality of growing old surrenders to the dream of growing young...

i still havent figured out the greatest answer
the things ive seen
i dont know really
i dont
and is that why im still here?
because i always did
and i always will

know scars from depths and heavens lashings
felt coal and fought the demons pleading
been starving cold and hungry
been all alone
ive been alone
but i know the way the season changes
i know cherry blossoms and sweetest honey
taste the nectar of my eternal spring
i felt love
of the way the sunrises

pyramids
slow down
find the reason why

i had a talk with myself the other day
i told myself to be strong
like i was before
like i am all along
and that even this pain will be something
i laugh at

I'm lifeless

Running out of time
Inbetween wanting and desiring nothing
Things are never easy, it comes and goes
They say life is priceless,
doesn't mean much to me
I look in the mirror and only see hate
there's nothing inside me worth wanting
nothing out here worth touching
just can't shrug off my tears
cause I've lived this life
beneath a mountain of fear

I'm nothing, nobody, and I just can't keep up
with everything everyone wants, always been a ******
I'm diseased, plagued by failed wantings
every moment passes with a bit too much haste
this life will be nothing if not in vain
I seek remedy to rivers overflowed in pain

and in the end, will I get anything I've wanted?
can't stand to live without my emotions being blunted
so I hide away in days best left unsaid,
and forgive me cause' all I'm saying is nothing worth reading,
and the entirety of whats to come,
doesn't deserve repeating.