One year,
     nine months,
          nine days.

You walked into my life
and turned it on its head.
You taught me what love was
and what love wasn't.
You showed me
how to save myself from
the darkness in my mind.
And in return, I gave you
a piece of my heart.

You gave me a forever in 648 days.

But ultimately,
you showed me that
everyone leaves eventually.

And as hard as it is to believe,
goodbyes(or lack there of) are a forever too.

i held you so tight and maybe that's why you broke free

you were everything
and i hate that you still are
even after you have her
and me lined up for when she
gets tired of you
or the other way around
and what do i have?
well i have an empty chest
and a couple pills
i've got the hope that i'm holding on to
(for whatever reason)
that you might
come back
i've got self doubt
and chewed down nails
bleeding knuckles
and a hazey mind
wow, it must seem like i have a lot
but i don't have everything
because everything doesn't
want me

Last night,
my psychiatrist told me,
i was a brave girl.

I can't help but wonder,
how much she was paid,
to say this,
to all the other
girls
too.

( FAH )