When i look at the mirror all i see is you,
You see i never wanted to become a person that i hardly knew.
You always see the other side of me,all my faults and my glitches,
I cannot become anything better,so you leave me with open stitches.
Why don't you ever show me that you love me?,
But you always change the subject to something like "make me a cup of tea".
You leave me crying by the mirror,looking at myself and thinking will i ever be good enough for you?,
It leaves me wondering are all the things you said to me true?.
You call me many names,one of which is monster,
How can you say such a thing,I'm supposed to be your daughter.
I am trying to leave the past behind me,but you don't seem to see,
You want me to be different,than i was ever meant to be.

Sometimes I view things through small windows.
Dusty at times I clean them off..
Just for a better view.
I see you.
I wave as you turn to me and leave once again.
You smile and wave back!
Our dogs chase your truck down the road.
You will be back tomorrow.
I watch your tail lights fade into the hills.
I always turn away when I see our dogs return to our yard.
See you tomorrow dad!

your words cut
deeper than i will ever let you see
but i know you don't mean
to hurt me or lose me.
and as my voice i stifle
afraid of burdens unborn
your voice, a chime unearthing
demons i thought long gone.

and once more
i cannot tell you
i cannot trust me
i cannot admit
the pain, the hurt, the fear
so for now, i guess
i'll just be
here.
just here.

you know what matters
is not the skin, but the heart
you know you've fallen in deep
and now you're falling apart
you've ever only seen skin-deep

but skin is all you have.

grasping at perfection
but the more you run it runs deeper
as you fear your reflection
and as this skin wraps these bones
and your heart struggles a beat
as you never find your happiness
emptiness swallows heaps
it's the weight that weighs you down again
and you've started to measure up
counting ways to perfection

but you're drowning in a cup

and it will take you nowhere
but these voices never leave
and you follow, engulfed

but you've ever only seen skin-deep

- c.t.

She was
A dreamer, with wings on her back
A singer, voice like honey in your ear
An actress, all the world was her stage
So many futures, and all of them hers,
but


She was.


- c.t.