as the wind gently kisses the leaves
and the sky slowly transforms
into the calming night
i begin to wonder if he ever cared.
he never once truly expressed
love or hurt to any word i said.
he always remained so collected
and mindful towards his words and actions.
he still yelled
he still screamed
he still attempted to change my fews
and yet those caring words "i love you"
still passed his lips .

he said he loved me

i always wondered why he pretended
to tell me that i was his one and only.
why every moment we spent together
he remained immersed in the digital world
and never once expressed any interest in my life.
i yelled
and i screamed
i still told him that i loved him
i meant ever word that passed my lips
and yet he never flinched or stirred.

he said he loved me

bruises
tears
fear
anger
love
happiness
sadness
all fluttered across my face
and yet i still meant every "i love you"
that fell from my lips.

why wasn't
he honest

she never complained
about how long my hair was
or that how it reeked of
cigarettes when she kissed me
good morning,
she never painted
my skin grey
when the sun
shined,
she never told me
that my
breakfasts of
turkey sandwiches
and pepsi weren't healthy,
she told me once that
I should quit smoking
because she did,
I never did,
she says I drink to much,
she told me that
she loved me
when I made her laugh,
her legs were always warm
and I told her she could start a fire
when she doesn't shave,
she laughed,
she told me that
she loved me when
my friend died,
she never told me
why she loved me,
she never gave
me a reason to leave,
I never told myself why
she loved me, I never knew,
so I gave myself a reason

so through tears
she then told me
to go **** myself

this fragile heart remains in a constant state of hurt
and yet it still searches for someone or something.
the idea of finding a soul that is strong enough to heal
is what allows this heart to stretch so thin.
what if no one comes?
what if no one is strong enough to help?
what IF the idea of finding love is a dream that we ourselves have created.
maybe love does not exist and never has but because of society and the unrelenting effect that the media has on this generation, we created demented images and ideas about love.

a fragile heart is only as delicate as we make it seem and even still,
we search
we hurt
we open doors to the soul that we wish remained shut
we allow ourselves to be consumed but another
we make ourselves weak and fragile for love
but in the end,
what does it mean to love and be loved?

Tell me how to keep you
Here by my side
Tell me what I have to do
To never say goodbye

So stay with me
I'll hold you tight
I'll tangle my arms
For you in the night

Because if you stay,
I'll love you so
Even through the rain
And through the snow.

So stay because I love you,
Stay because I care,
You're everything to me,
And this I forever swear.

I fell into a deep abis,
But today, no one noticed.
I laughed at myself until the tears rolled down my cheeks,
But today, no one noticed.
I allowed my thoughts to swallow my soul until I could longer feel,
But today, no one noticed.
Today, no words feel my lips and no thoughts were expressed but still, I was slowly dying and no one noticed.

How many times do I have to say

That I can’t do this for another day

The things you’ve said

Have stayed in my head

This nightmare that’s never ending

You say I’m fat but you say I’m thin

You’ve said I’m ugly and don’t fit in

You tell me I’m beautiful but say I’m not use full

This is a nightmare that’s never ending

I wake up and I don’t want to leave my home

I’m scared in case that you aren’t alone

Burses that line my legs and arms

Isn’t something that can be left unharmed

I wish I had said something before

The way you looked at me outside my door

That face that haunts me more and more

I feel unwanted I feel so scared

I wish that everything was only a dare

But now I’m dead and it’s all you fault,

I’ve been abused and it’s called assault