in art we're learning about the human body and the forms it takes in artworks. i keep thinking of how i want to paint you. not just as a portrait but i want to run the colours down your bare skin and make you feel like the artwork that you are. the soft curve of your jaw. the roundness of your lips. the broad spread of your shoulders. i want to paint you a portrait but i feel like i won't get the dark colour of your eyes right or the way that your hair puffs. i don't want to mess up your beauty but i want you to know how much you resemble art.
love is. giving someone. the knife. to stab you. with your own words. whispered. at 3:00 am. and trusting them. not to drive. the knife. through your back. or to sharpen. your words. into new ones. to use. against you.
❝ my whole world revolves around the way that your lips move to form my name and the way your fingers brush against my skin in the slightest of touches. i can't breathe when your close to me but i'm stuck not being able to breathe without your presence either. ❞
he smiled and shrugged. a one word response of ❝ thanks. ❞
that was it. that was all i had to hold onto after i spilled my heart and soul to him.
i couldn't tell you that what i feel for you is love. the only reason behind that is because i have no experience in what love actually is. i've never had feelings reciprocated. i've never been kissed. never be touched intimately. i can't say i'm in love with you because i do not know what love is. however, i can tell you that you're the only thing i think about. looking at you makes my heart feel warm and every conversation with you feels like it will be my last. a smile from you can be the only thing that will get me through the day. i don't know if i love you but i do know that i care so much about you that it makes my heart hurt.
sometimes i think that i'm over you. and then i'll see your face somewhere and it'll make me hold my breath and make my heart pound at a million miles per second. sometimes i think that i'm over you. and then you'll smile at me slightly or say my name softly and suddenly i'm head over heels all over again. sometimes i think that i'm over you. and then your next to me, talking to me and my whole body freezes up and the world slows as i watch your lips move. sometimes i think that i'm over you. and then you be you and i can't help but rip my heart out and hand it over to you once more.