I told him no but he kept pressuring me it turned into a yes
I lost my virginity to a one night stand
well I guess 2 because I went back for more
I don't know what it was that made me want the pain
Maybe it was how it felt to make someone else complete
Maybe it was the look of relief on your face when I gave in
Maybe it was how you rolled on the ******
Maybe my life would be different
Maybe

You will grow up loved
Little boy
The way it should be
Little boy
You will smile
Little boy
you wont know what got me into your life
Little boy
I wont leave
Little boy
As you get older and taller we will love you the same
Little boy
I would have died if you were mine

On the eve I die alone
Don't morn me
simply delete me from your phone
Remove my contact info erase all pics and tweets
Don't simply RIP me
Or shout me out on FaceBook statuses
When I'm gone ignore me
Go back to your regularly scheduled programming
Let me slide into oblivion
Where I resided in life let me rest in death
If it mattered that much surely I would have known
I would have sensed the emotional necessity that I placed in hearts
That I etched in minds and lives
So let me slip to slumber
Cast out blindly on the pyre
With backs turned don't mind the blaze
Embrace your loved ones and hold them tight
Remind them that to love and lose is to lose at best
And to be stolen from and assailed at worst
But still warn them of this plight
And when I lay down that eve
Don't wish this soul goodnight.

I am confused.
I want us.
Then again,
I don't.

I think this
Is what death feels like
A never ending scream
filtered through a smile
No one can hear
Helpless
Hopeless
Silence
No one will ever know
What hides behind
These eyes