CJ - Hello Poetry

CJ Dec 2020

fury

sometimes
I’d be living out of spite
you’ve been a beautiful liar—-
—even this time

all of your nonsense
made sense to me
I was blinded
an ace when you tried to hide it

gave you a garden of adoration
but you cloaked me with eternal damnation

because I told you to meet me
at that mall
at my campus
at the train station
at your school
even at your ******* hometown
you never showed up
I was standing so tall

But one day I woke up and I knew—-

—-you didn’t honor my heart
when I saw you talking to her
embracing her
holding hands with her
meeting her at the mall
and she was standing so tall

#love #heartbreak #fury

CJ Nov 2020

I knew you

I knew you
Like the back of my hand
From your highs and your lows
All of the things that nobody knows

I knew you
as the bearer of his secrets
keeper of mine
body and spirit, we were always intertwined

I knew you
-always filled my glass
with promises that could never last
broken crystals
still I put you on a pedestal

But that very morning,
everything crumbled
when I gave you my whole heart in a letter
and you gave me hurt
with goodbye

- c.s.

#love #goodbye

CJ Sep 2020

the girl who wrote about you

My darling,
you should know
that no one will write about you
the way that I do

You have been immortalized
by the tip of my pen;
outlining every joy and despair we shared,
expressing how truly and deeply I cared

And as our roads start to split
with me painstakingly accepting every bit of it
rest assured
the world will read of what was and is true

I hope you don’t forget
the girl who always wrote about you

-c.s.

#love #muse

CJ Sep 2020

losing a friend

In between ubiquitous pain
and shallow laughter---
---through my meandering rivers
I think of you

My proclivity for sadness
is my signature
And I’m sitting here
still staring at your pictures

When I said “it’s okay”
you knew it wasn’t fine
and losing a friend is losing a sacred poem
that once was lovingly mine

-c.s.

#friend #love

CJ Sep 2020

liquid courage

And my love,
as I am swimming in my reverie
basking in my sweet sweet misery
I never forget
that your pain matters

too

That it’s okay
to change your mind
It was just never okay for me
to rely on promises
with child-like naivety---

whose hands have been longing for yours

-c.s.

#love

CJ Sep 2020

painful things

Let me soak in these emotions again
Let me be vulnerable
Let me feel low

When the mind plays tricks, I always lose.

Let me just feel the cuts before I get back to the grind
Because I’m already here and there’s no way out.

To linger on my blind optimism,
To linger on being broken
To linger on the words
To linger on the songs
To linger on the years

To linger
Til they no longer… hurt

-c.s.

#pain #hurt #sadness