Black almond eyes.
Thick eyebrows.
Creases of her smile.
Creases of her frown.

Pink but nice glasses.
Easy to make her laugh.
A small nose. Like a dot in the space.
A cute voice.

Black thick hair
that reaches to her shoulder.
Laughs
of the girl

Who was the pain
and healer of my life.

**The girl.

Yesterday:
Curious.
Awkward.
Happy, but confused.
Jealous.
Cried in class.

Today:
Happy.
Glad.
Smiled often.
Hugs.
Laughter.

Back and forth. The same thing repeats.
So confusing.
Happiness,
depression.
Happiness,
depression.
Happines­s,
depression.

This is so hard. I can't figure out the real point.


**Do I love her or not?

I was very confused today.

You hung your arms around me, making an excuse, "I'm too lazy to hold my arm."
You leaned your head against my shoulder, saying, "My neck hurts."
You covered me with your arms while I put my head down.
You ate the pizza I ate out of.
You put your face close up to mine to see "if I was gay."
You called my name.
You seemed to be kinder now.
You're acting cute than usual.
You're acting different.
To me.

And I don't know if it's real. Is it for fun? Or does she at least kind of like me? Or is it just because she wants to tease me, knowing that I like her?

It's so complicated and painful to think about. What if this was all a lie?

So I've decided.


**Enjoy while I can.

"I love you."











*April fools.

I chew on my finger constantly

It's stupid alright,
I can't stop it though.

I know it will be hard to type
I know the tips of my fingers will hurt
I know my stomach will ache from the bacteria
I know my fingers will hurt

But I can't help but doing it.



It's the same as loving her.

**Knowing it will hurt. Then keep on doing it.