I don’t know where I’m going
I know where I have been
I want to get going
On the life I imagined
I want I linger I decide I regret I realize I dwell on the

he said I was his dream girl, his grandest love, his sweetest thing
I desire him but need to be spoken of in power words not words of ownership and lack of autonomy
I am persuasive I am strong
I am forceful fierce and nasty when I wasn’t supposed to be
I have an angry streak a side of me I only let those I love truly see
I hurt the ones I love when they hurt me
I make mistakes I’m imperfect I’m messy I’m unstable
But I also love deeper I cry harder I laugh with abundance and such intoxicating infectious ness it moves mountains
I am creative I am a gypsy I am compassionate and adventurous and humorous and butterflies fly freely to my heart because even the sweetest things in life fly to those that are equally as sweet
I breathe in ice take the hurt out of your pain and breathe out fire and action and triumphant desire
You will long for me when I am gone
Of that I am sure
I am a hard one to hold onto
You were a good one to love and be loved by

Make no mistake there are those I miss but no one who has ever loved me has ever been able to forget.

I am lion, hear me roar
I dare to be free of societal norms
I wish to travel the world and see myself in challenging situations
Unpredictable circumstances
Overwhelmed with obstacles and facing my fears by tackling them one at a time
Head on no hesitation no turning back no guide to lead me in the right direction
I wish to fall and pick myself back up again, even if it hurts sometimes
I yearn to learn from my mistakes, I dare to make big ones
I long to be uncomfortable
I want I need I must do and be and see what will become of me in the most uncomfortable surroundings
I wish to smell the air in different cities
To walk along new and old roads that my feet have never touched
Unpaved dirt paths cobble ****** streets grass at my feet
I want to soak in the soil and smell the earth as I pitch my tent in the wild
I am looking for something bigger than myself
Something outside the realm of comfort to test my ability to take risks
to be spontaneous to be resourceful to find myself again and again
to be free
to be wild
to live with no regrets and go and DO exactly what I want to
to listen to the song in my heart and the beat of my drum to
to really see people for the first time
not just look but really see them, see their souls, hear their stories, share our wanderlust in our togetherness, to feel the authenticity of sharing the same thoughts
share our experiences and our joys as we embark on new journeys every single day
to fall in love with strangers to jump off the cliffs to search out what it means to really be alone
aloneness – to find out what it takes to be fully happy being alone, not lonely, but alone
to give as much as I can give of myself, my creativity, my endurance, my pain, to let go
to try hard, to work hard, to make a difference
to be seen
to be heard, to be one with nature and to live with such lightness that I soar above all possibilities, to fly free as the birds
I want to be exactly who I am and more
I want to find out what I can do when I am out of my element
Out of my comfort zone
What will become of me when I no longer have the safety net of home around me?
I need this. For myself. To prove to myself I am bigger than a passive pawn in the twisted game of this American life
I will conquer
I will triumph
I will live up to my fullest potential
and I will surprise myself
I will never be fully happy until I do this.

You're my warmth when I'm cold
You're my light when I've gone out
You're my smile when I cry
You take the pieces of me that I hate and love them to pieces

What you are is a true believer
A seeker
A do gooder
And an earth loving, optimistic boy who is determined to save the world

I don't know if we are right together but together right now feels right.

A poem about you.
Give love
Be and see love
You forget yourself when you think of me
And then you remember you are the surest thing
Your dream is the dream that will be remembered
You fight on through your loved one’s peril
You make me want to punch you with your self-righteous remarks
Your judgments that injure me and my actions
Your opinions that speak louder than words as if the louder you speak, the more they will ring true
You have eyes of blue steel that have stolen my heart
Your strength in character shows up on the red on your sleeve
You understand when I fight against you
You forgive when I slap and ridicule you
You give your heart away, your time to me, you love harder and stronger than anyone I've ever known
You give yourself more to acts of kindness for me
You love freely with no boundary
You see me
You forgive me

I care too much about the little things you say
The things that matter to me don’t matter to you
It hurts
Money is lacking
Security is nowhere
Stability does not exist
Responsibility is you being irresponsible
Time and time and time again
These are all words you deem you hate
Yet you declare you hate nothing
No thing matters to you and that spells out “WARNING” signals to my aching heart

I ache for normalcy
I yearn for stability
I want to build a life with you, you declare it
Yet the building blocks are not there
I want you to succeed
But wanting and waiting and wishing and hoping are taking its toll on me

I want your brand of love but I deeply need stability
what is there to do?
can both exist between me and you?

Familiar fingers caress skin like leather as they hold me together
From crying from lying
From flying away to the back alleyways of broken staircases painted wet with forgery
Stolen brushstrokes of love and deception she gathers her courage to stay put
But her ankles twitch and flutter like butterfly wings coming free for the first time out of their chrysalis
And I have to remember if I leave you I will miss this
I will miss your hair as it kisses bed sheets and flings through fingers with a curl that twirls with mine
The way your spine fits with mine like bone to muscle skin that shines
Glistening with sweat encased affections and such a fine sensation it is when you speak words that mean my thoughts and my touch runs across your leg
Like the puddle of dread singing notes of how we could be together without the stormy weather ripping each other apart
My grace meets your passion in a way unlike any I have known
You sing lessons of truth when you tell me your dreams
Making me feel like the sky is lighting up for me with its moonbeams
Holding back my breath I bite back my fears and show you my tears
Only sometimes
I grab onto those moments we share when we’re so close there’s no escaping no telling whose breath begins and whose fingers are shaking
Because my action might halt in fear frustration but my mind is free to wander over to the time you traced my back with your fingers pushed your love into my bloodstream my veins were calling out your name
The way we found one another was in pure curiosity

Trains hum and whistle
Throw me into my next location
She's got her pink shirt on this morning
The one that matches her dearest friend
Greeting me in the morning
I'm happiest when she's happiest with her own insides
Cuz she's my Chicago ride or die.

We hiss with great spirits
Making marks with multi colored
Intricate paint
Debating and lighting our own paths
Trusting the two beacons
Light houses intertwining
Causes the ultimate
Urban city woven sunshine.

It's the boys who got the power for now
I tattoo my skin to remember
That forever is no forever
She sparks a fire in her butterfly bones
And in my yellow flowered unicorn
Splashed away at the sea
Trusting the hands of the clocks
With our own fingers
Little lady limbs
We move with our own
Soft force.

I wonder what she smells and sees today
I dedicate love poetry to my women
Because they stand next to me
And deeply understand
Even if they don't.

Dark curly tendrils beckon whispers
From highlighted crowds
We wear invisible crowns
On our heads
Especially when she's next to me.

Because she's the midnight
To my versatile glow.