It's the quiet one's you hear.
The subconscious.
The shadows.
The darkness.
It speaks to me louder than the Sun ever did.
I live in those shadows for in those shadows I do not see, I do not judge, I can only feel.
One cannot hate what they cannot see.
Eyes rolling back, gazing into the oblivion,
Your moon dust frolics along the walls of my head.

I haven't seen you in awhile my dear
And now there's something I've come to fear
That I don't remember the smell of your hair
But at least I'd recognize that smile anywhere
And I might not remember the taste of your lips
But I still want my arms around your hips
But your laugh, now that is unforgettable
And every moment we're together, is un-regrettable
Oh I miss you with every fibre of my being
And I'm jealous of those friends, whom you keep on seeing.

i want it all.
your sleepy murmurs in my ear
as you drift away on a sea of dreams, the
gentle strokes of your fingers,
soft against my spine, the way
you hold me with your whole body.

i watched the moonlight draining onto
your bedroom walls as i lay beside your
slumbering warmth & felt something like happiness
radiating from my core.  your sheets danced with shadowplay
as i listened to your steady breaths
in & out,
couldn’t bear to slip away.

here’s the truth:
your arms feel like home,
like safety,
like a place i never want to leave.  
when you held me in that meadow,
wrapped in dreams & lust & a stark-flecked sky,
whispered the first i-love-you,
i wanted it all.

i want it all,
want to be yours,
crave you in the most indelible of ways,
urgent & deathless.
it’s finally time.  throwing out the razors.
cleansing the smoke from my lungs.
trading the bad habits i wear like shackles
to drown in your skin & sweat & sunshine.

maybe i don’t have a good reason for wanting it.
maybe i just know.

i never thought
i was the type of girl
whose tragedies turned into fears
until i caught a glimpse
of my demons
creeping back up on me;
this time,
they came from the reflection
in your eyes
instead of his suffocating tongue