I said your name more than I've ever said I love you
I think eventually they became one in the same to me
Suddenly your name became the most important word that would ever leave my lips
Your name, a singular word, would come to mean the word to me
And eventually
Eventually
Your name
Instead of being breathed in between the I love you's
Would soon be between the broken sobs filled with regret
I pray for the day where I can say your name without feeling each piece of myself that I worked too hard to put back together threaten to fall apart again into the mess I am now
One day
I'll be okay
And your name will only be a fleeting memory

When i graduate high school
When i get my nursing degree
When i make my parents proud
When i am financially stable
When i share an apartment with my partner
When i get married
When i own a house
When i have a family of my own
When my children have children of their own
When i am old holding hands with the love of my life
When my life is settled and i can finally feel free
That's when i will be waiting to be in the clouds

I don't think I could ever get the words just right
so I guess I'll just stick with
I love you
But oh my dear,
Those are just the start of what you do to my heart

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d
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the rabbit

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