There’s a constant yearning feeling, and a thought, so loud,
in another’s voice.

saying something disconcerting every time.

how i’m insufficient,
or how i’m embarrassing,
saying i cant trust anyone else,
making me feel like i cant trust myself.

i truly don’t understand where other peoples motives lie, nor where my own.

and i’m exhausted from trying so hard to prove myself everyday,
and still falling short every time.

i want so badly to be eased in the right direction.

i want my hand held,
i want the security of knowing that the world is more than just a place where i have to learn to be cruel and vindictive like everyone else.

i want someone to actually care.

to be kind.
to teach me to be kind again.

i don’t know,

i hope one day i can look back at this and laugh, because i’m finally in a better place.

people don't label my pain
as real as others

but i promise, it's just as lethal

my teardrops
are hanging on strings
and you pull them
just right

spray paint
on cement walls
honesty
in an art form

someday
i'll tag one of these walls
and you'll hold my paint cans
as we fill our lungs with smoke

i don’t know how to stop.

i don’t even know how it started