i run my fingers over the hollows of my skin
to emulate the warmth of your electric touch.

i bite my lip with fervent desire
but fail to incite the euphoria
that ensues from your kiss alone.

it drives me wild
moving me madly toward the edge of allegiance.

and with this
i find myself at a crossroads
caught between the valleys of my mind
and the plains of my heart.

to combat this dilemma
i pause
close my eyes
breathing in all things you.

and in a sudden moment of spontaneity
the solution comes to me.
i scale the valley walls,
plant my feet on plains of uncertainty
and run.

to the heaven that lays buried
within the comfort of your arms.

let your body feel weightless
amidst the gravity in earth’s sphere
look down at your figure
and realize
you are alive
you are real
you have no end

allow yourself to combat the world’s constraints
and defy the forces binding you
to the dirt beneath your feet

it may seem strange
to oppose nature’s tides
but i promise you
it is worth it

you are boundless
a bird yearning
for the world beyond its cage
but most importantly
you are weightless
why, even gravity lusts for your release

i feel spring around me
in the melting snow
and blooming rose

you have tamed the winter
thawed the freeze on my heart
opened me to a world of hope

when i saw the white mountains
shrink to glacial puddles
i’ll admit
i was scared

  i had never let the sun get close enough
i shielded it with clouds of denial
resistant to the idea
of clean hands
on a dirtied heart

i feared forgetting the past
believing that old ladders
were the only way
i could reach the roof

but your sunlight cured my cold
and revealed to me
a season of gleaming, glowing gold

sometimes the hardest loss is grieving the living
when people go and choose to stay gone

that is hard
because they don’t choose us
even though we chose them every single time they ******* up

we give them so many chances
and still they choose to go

so now every time i see him
i cry a little

because unlike the leavers
the grief doesn’t go
it stays and swallows us whole

remnants of our last exchange
linger in the hollows of my throat
while the words unsaid
sit buried beneath regret and remorse

i would do anything
to turn back the clock
and tell you that i need you
i would do anything for you

i would ***** my skin
work until my fingers bleed from
tireless prodding at stubborn hands and dials
that is how much you mean to me

the pit in my stomach
has grown so large
it bears my soul
a light now lost in an abyss of darkness

if only i could explain myself
tell you that it was i
who cared too much
you were not at fault

i take a knife and shove it down my throat
desperate to **** the guilt of my inaction
it is taking me nowhere
it is not bringing me back to you

i struggle to catch my breath
and finally realize
it is your toxic remains
that steal the air from my lungs