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  May 2014 Gold
Sean Critchfield
Give them to me.
All the pieces of your broken heart.
Give them to me.

I'll take them.

All the rough-hewn misshapen bits of your shattered dreams.


Give them to me.
I will take them.

Give them to me.


They are wanted here.


All the parts of your misspent childhood. All the regrets of ticking seconds behind you.

Give them to me.

And we will build a cathedral. A stained glass window of who we are as tall and as beautiful as it should be.

Let me have them.

And we will make a mosaic that stretches as wide as the sky. Showing every color your heart gained from the bits and pieces left on the ground.

I will take them.

And forge a sculpture of how beautiful the ideas are that we cast out in our failings and we will cast it in our failings.

Let me have them.

And we will ***** a monument of all the small things in the shape that you remember them.
Towering. Looming. Striking. Beautiful.

Let me have them so we might bind the words said and regretted, (or worse) left unsaid in leather and call it scripture.

Our Psalms. Our Proverbs:

“The tip of my finger dangles like my tongue. Wanting to touch something beautiful.”

“If it were not for him, it would have been us.”

“You were all my brightest colors.”

“I wish I were more like you.”

“I wish I were less like me.”

“I am sped.”


And we will read them at dawn like litany.

Stretching our voices to the corners of the universe. Asking for the wishes you make when you are scared. Or alone. Or both.

That we may take them.

And make a blanket.

A blanket to cover our childhood and let it rest at last.

I will take them.

All the parts you no longer want.

Give them to me.

Because they are what make us beautiful.

Give them to me.

That I may forge them into pitch and feathers and craft mighty wings.

That I may take flight from your worry. And soar on the updraft of your misconception.

Give them to me.
I will take them.

Because I would rather burn like Icarus than to have never dared to fly.
This was a birthday gift to myself. I am giving it to you.
Gold May 2014
The colour I see in… perfect darkness?
In german we call it Eigengrau. It's beautiful name for such a colour, and a beautiful colour for our eyes.
It's a colour that takes everything away, turns it into nothing, giving you everything.
Sounds strange, like a paradox, you might think now.
Maybe, probably, most likely it is like that.
"Nachts sind alle Katzen grau.", is also something we Germans tend to say. All cats are grey in the dark; meaning that in the night, everyone is the same, we can not tell them apart anymore.
So the beautiful colour, a noun, called *Eigengrau" basically makes us all the same.
Sometimes I wish we would always see other people in Eigengrau, because then, even the last of them would realize that we are all the same, no matter which religion, sexuality, etc. we have.
Eigengrau: (n.) "dark light" or "brain grey"; the colour seen by the eye in perfect darkness // origin: german
Gold May 2014
Sometimes I look at the things surrounding me in a different way.
Then I see the positive things in my dark past.
It hits me like nostalgia without the hint of melancholia.
More positive, like the way I want my life to be.
I appreciate my past, because even if it was bad most of the time, I still learned from it, my how I learned from it, and learning is positive.
Mistakes were made, some were bad, some happened to be "happy accidents".

And maybe if you have the time, I tell you about all the things that were positive in my past, about all the things of my past that I found worthy of being appreciated.
Come, Darling, let's appreciate our pasts.
natsukashii: (adj.) of small things that brings you suddenly, joyously back to fond memories, not with a wistful longing for what's past, but with an appreciation of the good times
  May 2014 Gold
Raphael Uzor
You smile at me- uneasy!
Suppressing the frown underneath
You sigh and you say nothing
Not a single word you bare!

Your face is smeared with scorn
Your silent words are cruel
Stabbing repeatedly with pain
Yet, you're too nice to say.

Your words would have been harsh
But your silent words are venom
You haven't said a word
But your eyes, they reveal volumes.

Why the difficulty in speech?
Why the patronage and deceit?
If only I could read your mind...
If only I could hear your heart...

It would tell of how I repulse you
Of I embarrass you in public
Of how you hate the hugs I crave
Of how far apart we've strayed!

But why the silent regrets?
Why paint a dead flower red?
For the words you dread to say
Are softer than the silence you sway!

I know you mean well for you
But you're just afraid I'd hurt
Afraid to rip my heart in two
When your silence has crushed to dust!

A little openness if you cared,
Could have left us bound as friends
A little honesty could have saved me
But we've both died in your silence!*


© Raphael Uzor
Gold May 2014
How will you love me when you are not even willing to love yourself?
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