Two souls crashing together.
With a hope to be filled, with nothing to give in return.
    A routine with no results.
Two empty souls reaching in union.

My feet sinking into an avalanche of sand.
   My only wish, to go back
    And to have your hand.

in my dreams, i was a ghost in my own haunting

in life, i was wandering in your garden of denial

i cannot feel my legs
and my poems stay unread.
it takes two hours to loose myself
and a lifetime to find her again.

i look for her in dark bookstore hallways
fingers across the shelves,
picking up pieces of other people,
trying to reclaim the ones i gave away to you.

i shouldve known you wouldnt have remembered.
i shouldve known you would let me hang up.

we end our phone calls without i love you's,
yet you always say goodbye.

my heart breaks in two
like the way it separated when I came from you

you endured the pain and gave me life
my own light
there is no way to repay that

other than "I love you"

I was chicken
dropped only a half tab--a quarter before midnight  
and hurried back to my apartment
before the day changed    

from a Monday
to a ruby Tuesday  
where my walls melted
and music smelled like sassafras;
the flickering flares of light from two fat candles  
tasted like toasted almonds    

every eternal hour, or minute,
or so, I would try to tiptoe down the hall  
past the sleeping neighbors who were all dreaming
of me, skulking past their locked doors

but I never made it to the street
a feat that would have demanded
I stop giggling, and my heart stop thumping
for any pig or narc could have seen
my crimson machine pumping
ready to fly from my chest    

dawn did finally come--I was
coming down, down from the floor
on which I had lain from the minute
a ferocious fly dive bombed me
somewhere around three  

I walked to the corner grocery store
where I bought pan dulce, and was glad the clerk
spoke no English, for surely she would have asked me
to tell her how I survived such an aerial assault  
in peacetime